s
without, a part of myself; and I wondered how I had lived without it,
and if I could ever part with it.

The ocean spoke to me in other besides mournful or angry tones. I loved
even the angry voice, but when it became soothing, I could hear a sweet,
gentle accent that reached my soul rather than my ear. Perhaps I
imagined it. I do not know. What was real and what imaginary blended in
one. But I heard and felt it, and at such moments I wished I could live
on the sea forever, and thought that the sight of land would be very
unwelcome to me. I did not want to be near any person. Alone with the
ocean forever--that was my wish.

Leading a quiet life, the same every day, and thinking such thoughts,
feeling such emotions, the days were very long. I do not know how the
others passed the time, because I was so lost in my meditations. But
when the sky would smile for awhile--when a little sunlight broke a path
for itself through the heavy clouds, which disappeared as though
frightened; and when the sea looked more friendly, and changed its color
to match the heavens, which were higher up--then we would sit on deck
together, and laugh for mere happiness as we talked of the nearing
meeting, which the unusual fairness of the weather seemed to bring
nearer. Sometimes, at such minutes of sunshine and gladness, a few birds
would be seen making their swift journey to some point we did not know
of; sometimes among the light clouds, then almost touching the surface
of the waves. How shall I tell you what we felt at the sight? The birds
were like old friends to us, and brought back many memories, which
seemed very old, though really fresh. All felt sadder when the distance
became too great for us to see the dear little friends, though it was
not for a long time after their first appearance. We used to watch for
them, and often mistook the clouds for birds, and were thus
disappointed. When they did come, how envious we were of their wings! It
was a new thought to me that the birds had more power than man.

In this way the days went by. I thought my thoughts each day, as I
watched the scene, hoping to see a beautiful sunset some day. I never
did, to my disappointment. And each night, as I lay in my berth, waiting
for sleep, I wished I might be able even to hope for the happiness of a
sea-voyage after this had been ended.

Yet, when, on the twelfth day after leaving Hamburg, the captain
announced that we should see land before long, I r