pledged his faith, and Lady Aphrodite Grafton was his betrothed!

She wonderfully recovered. Her deep but silent joy seemed to repay him
even for this bitter sacrifice. Compared with the late racking of his
feelings, the present calm, which was merely the result of suspense
being destroyed, seemed happiness. His conscience whispered approbation,
and he felt that, for once, he had sacrificed himself to another.

They re-entered the villa, and he took the first opportunity of
wandering alone to the least frequented parts of the grounds: his mind
demanded solitude, and his soul required soliloquy.

'So the game is up! truly a most lame and impotent conclusion! And this,
then, is the result of all my high fancies and indefinite aspirations!
Verily, I am a very distinguished hero, and have not abused my
unrivalled advantages in the least. What! am I bitter on myself? There
will be enough to sing my praises without myself joining in this chorus
of congratulation. O! fool! fool! Now I know what folly is. But barely
fifteen months since I stepped upon these shores, full of hope and full
of pride; and now I leave them; how? O! my dishonoured fathers! Even my
posterity, which God grant I may not have, will look on my memory with
hatred, and on hers with scorn!

'Well, I suppose we must live for ourselves. We both of us know the
world; and Heaven can bear witness that we should not be haunted by any
uneasy hankering after what has brought us such a heartache. If it were
for love, if it were for--but away! I will not profane her name; if
it were for her that I was thus sacrificing myself. I could bear it,
I could welcome it. I can imagine perfect and everlasting bliss in the
sole society of one single being, but she is not that being. Let me not
conceal it; let me wrestle with this bitter conviction!

'And am I, indeed, bound to close my career thus; to throw away all
hope, all chance of felicity, at my age, for a point of honour? No, no;
it is not that. After all, I have experienced that with her, and from
her, which I have with no other woman; and she is so good, so gentle,
and, all agree, so lovely! How infinitely worse would her situation be
if deserted, than mine is as her perpetual companion! The very thought
makes my heart bleed. Yes! amiable, devoted, dearest Afy, I throw aside
these morbid feelings; you shall never repent having placed your trust
in me. I will be proud and happy of such a friend, and you shall be mine