me; I shall lose the finest
insect for dissection, a huge flesh fly, which Mr. Lovely sent me
just now, and opening the box to try the experiment, away it flew.

_Lady._ I am glad the poor fly escaped; will you never be weary of
these whimsies?

_Val._ Whimsies! Natural Philosophy a whimsy! Oh! the unlearned
world!

_Lady._ Ridiculous learning!

_Mrs. Alpiew._ Ridiculous indeed for women. Philosophy suits our sex
as jack-boots would do.

_Val._ Custom would bring them as much in fashion as furbelows, and
practice would make us as valiant as e'er a hero of them all; the
resolution is in the mind. Nothing can enslave that.

_Lady._ My stars! This girl will be mad--that's certain.

_Val._ Mad! So Nero banished philosophers from _Rome_, and the
first discoverer of the _Antipodes_ was condemned for a heretic.

_Lady._ In my conscience, Alpiew, this pretty creature's spoiled.
Well, cousin, might I advise you should bestow your fortune in
founding a college for the study of philosophy, where none but
women should be admitted; and to immortalize your name, they
should be called _Valerians_;--ha! ha! ha!

_Val._ What you make a jest of, I'd execute, were fortune in my
power.

Her notices of married life are interesting, as she had great
experience, having taken for her third husband Mr. Centlivre, cook to
Queen Anne. In "The Wonder, a Woman keeps a Secret," we have the
following dialogue upon this important subject:

_Col. Britton._ 'Egad, I think I must e'en marry, and sacrifice my
body for the good of my soul; wilt thou recommend me to a wife,
then--one that is willing to exchange her moydores for English
Liberty--ha friend?

_Fred._ She must be very handsome, I suppose?

_Col._ The handsomer the better, but be sure she has a nose.

_Fred._ Ay! ay! and some gold.

_Col._ Oh, very much gold. I shall never be able to swallow the
matrimonial pill, if it be not well gilded.

_Fred._ Puh, beauty will make it slide down nimbly.

_Col._ At first, perhaps it may, but the second or third dose will
choke me. I confess, Frederick, women are the prettiest playthings
in nature; but gold, substantial gold gives 'em the air, the mien,
the shape, the grace and beauty of a goddess.

_Fred._ And has not gold the same divinity in their eyes,