ience, troubled and apologetic, reminded him about that guinea he owed
me.

At the christening it fell to half-a-quid, and, according to Herbert's
latest allegation, it is only his rotten memory for postal-orders that
prevents him from sending me that dollar at once.

And so, precariously, the matter rested till to-day, when the final blow
fell from the War Office. Herbert and I are to proceed to France together
next Monday. On that day, if I am ingenious and agile enough not to meet
him before, we ought to be about all square; after that, as far as I can
see, there will be an inevitable moment when Herbert will turn to me with,
"I say, old fellow, you can't let me have that ten bob you touched me for
the other day, can you? Hate to ask you, but I haven't got a sou ..." But I
won't--no, I won't. I will let my imaginary debt mount up, I will let it
increase even at the rate at which Herbert's has decreased, but I will not
pay it. Herbert, of course, will always be kind to me about it, for he is a
generous creature; and every time we go into action he will probably wring
my hand and beg me not to worry about it any more.

"Old man," he will be saying on the twenty-ninth occasion, "if I got done
in, promise you won't bother about that thousand pounds you owe
me--remember you're to think of it as paid."

I shall remember all right.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _N.C.O._ "HERE! JUST GRAB THE OOJAH AN' DASH ROUND TO THE
TIDDLEY-OM-POM FOR SOME UMPTY-POO!"

Private (ex-professor of languages) learns later that he was expected to
fetch a bucket of coke from the stores.]

* * * * *

"In a corn and meal merchant's shop, where two or three cats are kept
for business purposes, the cats may be seen feeding at will from the
open sacks."--_Spectator_.

This lapse on pussy's part goes rather against the grain.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Barber_. "MUCH OFF, SIR?"

_War Economist_. "DURATION OF WAR."]

* * * * *

POLITICAL NOTES.

BY OUR OWN PAIR OF LYNX.

There is unfortunately no truth in the rumour that, in order to provide
billets for 5,000 new typists, and incidentally to win the War, the
Government has commandeered the Houses of Parliament.

* * * * *

The problem of the housing of the traveller-classes when all the hotels of
London have been tak