ly to set quiet, for I be just about tired out with that
there thinkin'.'

"There be such a sight o' things you do have to remember, lookee. What wi'
the grocer, an' what wi' the draper, an' folks's parcels to leave an'
folks's parcels to call for, an' picken up here an' setten down
there--well, a woman's brain ain't strong enough for it, leastways not to
my way o' thinkin'....

"Well, now, if I ain't a-gone an' forgot to call at old Mrs. Pettigrew's
for her subscription for to get made up at the chemist's! There, now, Miss,
don't that just show how you do 'ave to kip on thinkin' all the time, else
you be just about sure to forget somethin' or another? Oh yes, there be a
smartish lot of 'ead-work in the carryin' business, an' no mistake!"

* * * * *

An Enviable Post.

From a list of the new Government:--

"Chancellor of the Ducky of Lancaster: Sir Frederick Cawley."--_Star_
(_Johannesburg_).

* * * * *

"Man, to drive horse and make himself generally useful in nursery."--
_Provincial Press_.

No doubt a rocking-horse.

* * * * *

From a New Zealand diocesan magazine:--

"Owing to the continued illness of the Vicar, which we trust is
reaching its last stage, the services of the Church have been conducted
by the following," etc.

The Vicar, we understand, thinks this might have been more tactfully
worded.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Long-suffering Wife_ (_to amateur politician_). "OH, ALL
RIGHT. DON'T KEEP 'OLLERIN' AT ME ABOUT THE WAR AND THE GOVER'MENT! WHO DO
YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO--LORD DEVUMPORK?"]

* * * * *

THE PURIFIED PRUSSIAN.

[Writing in _Die Woche_ a well-known Baroness, a leader of Berlin society,
discusses the transformation and purification of Berlin conviviality by the
War. Social functions accompanied by eating have altogether ceased and
given way to more refined gatherings--aesthetic afternoon teas and elegant
evening parties--at which the conversation reaches heights of brilliancy
unheard of in the old carnivorous days. Unhappily snobbery still prevails,
"every class pretending to be richer and better than they are--small
officials, officers, landowners, all pretending to be millionaires, and
doing their pretension shabbily."]

One of the leading Prussian social stars
Opines that War,