all on the comin' Saturday evenin'. An' gents,
to simply read of the feats he threatens to perform would loco you!
Besides, thar's a picture of Satan, black an' fiery an' frightful,
where he's he'pin' this gifted person to foist said mir'cles upon the
age. I don't exaggerate none when I asserts that the moment our
village gets its eye on these three-sheets it comes to a dead halt.

"'Old Squar' Alexanders is the war chief of the hamlet, an' him an' the
two other selectmen c'llects themse'fs over their toddies an' canvasses
whether they permits this wizard to give his fiendish exhibitions in
our midst. They has it pro an' con ontil the thirteenth drink, when
Squar' Alexanders who's ag'in the wizard brings the others to his
views; an' as they staggers forth from the tavern it's the yoonanimous
decision to bar that Satan-aided show.

"'"Witches, wizards, elves, gnomes, bull-beggars, fiends, an' devils is
debarred the Bloo Grass Country," says Squar' Alexanders, speakin' for
himse'f an' his fellow selectmen, "an' they're not goin' to be allowed
to hold their black an' sulphurous mass meetin's yere."

"'It comes Saturday evenin' an' the necromancer is in the tavern eatin'
his supper. Shore! he looks like common folks at that! Squar'
Alexanders is waitin' for him in the bar. When he shows up, carelessly
pickin' his teeth, it's mebby half a hour before the show, Squar'
Alexanders don't fritter away no time, but rounds up the wizard.

"'"Thar's no show which has Satan for a silent partner goin' to cut
itse'f loose in this village," says Squar' Alexanders.

"'"What's this talk about Satan?" responds the wizard. "I don't savey
no more about Satan than I does about you."

"'"Look at them bills," says Squar' Alexanders, an' he p'ints to where
one is hangin' on the barroom wall. It gives a picture of the foul
fiend, with pitchfork, spear-head tail an' all. "Whatever do you call
that?"

"'"That's a bluff," says the wizard. "If Kaintucky don't get tangled
up with Satan ontil I imports him to her fertile shores, you cimmarons
may regyard yourse'fs as saved."

"'"Be you-all goin' to do the sundry deeds you sets forth in the
programmes?" asks Squar' Alexanders after a pause.

"'"Which I shorely be!" says the wizard, "an' if I falls down or fails
you can call me a ab'litionist."

"'"Then all I has to say is this," returns Squar' Alexanders; "no gent
could do them feats an' do 'em on the level. You'd have to have the