never bring herself to rub them out; and she
often glanced at them with wet eyes. Emily's handsome boys came home for
the Christmas holidays; the University was talked of for them; and still
Joanna subsisted as it were with held breath, like a person submerged.
Only one summer more, and the 'spell' would end. Towards the close of
the time Emily called on her quondam friend. She had heard that Joanna
began to feel anxious; she had received no letter from husband or sons
for some months. Emily's silks rustled arrogantly when, in response to
Joanna's almost dumb invitation, she squeezed through the opening of the
counter and into the parlour behind the shop.

'_You_ are all success, and _I_ am all the other way!' said Joanna.

'But why do you think so?' said Emily. 'They are to bring back a
fortune, I hear.'

'Ah! will they come? The doubt is more than a woman can bear. All three
in one ship--think of that! And I have not heard of them for months!'

'But the time is not up. You should not meet misfortune half-way.'

'Nothing will repay me for the grief of their absence!'

'Then why did you let them go? You were doing fairly well.'

'I made them go!' she said, turning vehemently upon Emily. 'And I'll
tell you why! I could not bear that we should be only muddling on, and
you so rich and thriving! Now I have told you, and you may hate me if
you will!'

'I shall never hate you, Joanna.'

And she proved the truth of her words afterwards. The end of autumn
came, and the brig should have been in port; but nothing like the
_Joanna_ appeared in the channel between the sands. It was now really
time to be uneasy. Joanna Jolliffe sat by the fire, and every gust of
wind caused her a cold thrill. She had always feared and detested the
sea; to her it was a treacherous, restless, slimy creature, glorying in
the griefs of women. 'Still,' she said, 'they _must_ come!'

She recalled to her mind that Shadrach had said before starting that if
they returned safe and sound, with success crowning their enterprise, he
would go as he had gone after his shipwreck, and kneel with his sons in
the church, and offer sincere thanks for their deliverance. She went to
church regularly morning and afternoon, and sat in the most forward pew,
nearest the chancel-step. Her eyes were mostly fixed on that step, where
Shadrach had knelt in the bloom of his young manhood: she knew to an inch
the spot which his knees had pressed twent