und. How easily it could be done, how quickly, how safely in
this deep, stillness and bright moonlight! I would fall so lightly on
my stocking soles; a single soft, dull thud; then away under the moon
without fear or risk of a false step; away over the stone walls to the
main road, and so to the nearest police-station with my tale; and before
sunrise the villains would be taken in their beds, and my darling would
be safe!

I sprang up softly. Why not do it now? Was I bound to keep my rash,
blind promise? Was it possible these murderers would murder her?
I struck a match on my trousers, I lit a candle, I read her letter
carefully again, and again it maddened and distracted me. I struck my
hands together. I paced the room wildly. Caution deserted me, and I made
noise enough to wake the very mute; lost to every consideration but that
of the terrifying day before me, the day of silence and of inactivity,
that I must live through with an unsuspecting face, a cool head, a civil
tongue! The prospect appalled me as nothing else could or did; nay, the
sudden noise upon the stairs, the knock at my door, and the sense that
I had betrayed myself already even now all was over--these came as a
relief after the haunting terror which they interrupted.

I flung the door open, and there stood Mrs. Braithwaite, as fully
dressed as myself.

"You'll not be very well sir?"

"No, I'm not."

"What's t' matter wi' you?"

This second question was rude and fierce with suspicion: the real woman
rang out in it, yet its effect on me was astonishing: once again was I
inspired to turn my slip into a move.

"Matter?" I cried. "Can't you see what's the matter; couldn't you see
when I came in? Drink's the matter! I came in drunk, and now I'm mad. I
can't stand it; I'm not in a fit state. Do you know nothng of me? Have
they told you nothing? I'm the only man that was saved from the Lady
Jermyn, the ship that was burned to the water's edge with every soul but
me. My nerves are in little ends. I came down here for peace and quiet
and sleep. Do you bow that I have hardly slept for two months? And now
I shall never sleep again! O my God I shall die for want of it! The wine
has done it. I never should have touched a drop. I can't stand it; I
can't sleep after it; I shall kill myself if I get no sleep. Do you
hear, you woman? I shall kill myself in your house if I don't get to
sleep!"

I saw her shrink, virago as she was. I waved my arms, I shrieked i