accented as though he were speaking in a language that was strange to
him.

The sarcastic smile came back into the old lady's eyes and she leaned
forward on her stick again, looking up into his eyes.

"I didn't know--I didn't know--that we were going to meet like this. You
didn't know either or you wouldn't have come, but I've been waiting for
years for this. It's been nice for me, hasn't it, to sit by whilst
you've done everything to make things wretched for me, to ruin me, to
push me back to where...."

Roddy's voice interrupted.

"Mr. Breton, I think you forget----"

Instantly Breton stopped. He forced control upon his voice, he
stammered, "I'm ashamed--I oughtn't to have--But sitting there--not
being allowed to speak--you must excuse me----"

He turned round to Roddy. "You must think me the most complete
blackguard. It's only a climax to everything that's happened since I
came back. I don't want to defend myself, but it isn't--it isn't all so
simple as just talking about it makes it look. You're the kind of man to
whom everything's just black or white--you do it or you don't--but
I--I've never found that. I've been in things without knowing I've been
in them. I've done things that would have turned out straight for any
other fellow, but they've always been crooked for me. Something always
blinds me just when I need to see straightest. That's no excuse, but
it's an awful handicap.

"I won't hide or pretend about it. Why should I? I loved Rachel. We've
only met so little--really only that once in my rooms--that you can't
grudge us that. We had things--heaps of things--in common long before
we knew one another. It wasn't like any ordinary two people meeting, and
I knew so well that she could make all the difference to my life that I
took the chance of knowing her even though she wasn't ever going to
belong to me. I don't think I ever really believed that I'd be the man.
I know now that she's yours altogether and you ought to have her--now
that I've seen you I know that. And last night when I faced the fact
that I'd have to go all my life without her I realized what she told me
long ago, that it was much better just to have my idea of her and not to
have had my regret about having spoiled anything for her. I've no
confidence in myself, you see. If I thought I were the kind of man just
to carry her off and make her happy for ever and ever, then I suppose
I'd have been bolder about her long ago, but I know, even