ong this beautiful furniture, got
to work with her duster.

"Ah," said Mrs Partridge, "it's natural to take a pride in the bit of
furniture you start with, but when you've been through the mill like I
'ave, you'll think more of your own comfort. There was yer Aunt Maria
wore 'er fingers to the bone polishing 'er furniture on the
time-payment plan, an' then lost it all through the death of 'er
'usband, an' the furniture man thanked 'er kindly fer keepin' it in
such beautiful order when 'e took it away. An' Mrs Ross starved
'erself to buy chairs an' sofas, which she needed, in my opinion, being
too weak to walk about; an' then 'er 'usband dropped a match, an' they
'ad the best fire ever seen in the street, an' 'ave lived in lodgings
ever since."

"That's all right," said Chook uneasily, "but this ain't time-payment
furniture, an' I ain't goin' ter sling matches about like some people
sling advice."

"That's very true," said Mrs Partridge, warming up to her subject, "but
there's no knowin' 'ow careless yer may git when yer stomach's
undermined with bad cookin'."

"Wot rot ye're talkin'!" cried Chook. "Mother taught her to cook a
fair treat these two years. She niver got anythin' to practise on in
your 'ouse."

"That's true," said Mrs Partridge, placidly. "I was never one to
poison meself with me own cooking. When I was a girl I used ter buy a
penn'orth of everythin', peas-pudden, saveloys, pies, brawn, trotters,
Fritz, an' German sausage. Give me the 'am shop, an' then I know who
ter blame, if anythin' goes wrong with me stomach."

Chook gave his opinion of cookshops.

"Ah well," said Mrs Partridge, "what the eye doesn't see the 'eart
doesn't grieve over, as the sayin' is! An' that reminds me. Elizabeth
suffers from 'er 'eart, an' that means a doctor's bill which I could
never understand the prices they charge, knowin' plenty as got better
before the doctor could cure 'em an' so takin' the bread out of 'is
mouth, as the sayin' is. Though I make it my business to be very
smooth with them as might put somethin' nasty in the medsin an' so
carry you off, an' none the wiser, as the sayin' is."

"'Ere, this ain't a funeral," cried Chook, in disgust.

"An' thankful you ought ter be that it ain't," cried Mrs Partridge,
"after what I read in the paper only last week about people bein'
buried alive oftener than dead, an' fair gave me the creeps thinkin' I
could see the people scratchin' their way out of the co