rom the master bedroom into the
silence left by his absence, he attempted once again to take up the
thread of conversation that had been so abruptly snapped. "You were
telling me, I believe, about the first thing you can remember."

"Yes," she said. "Have another martini. Here, I'll pour. I was on a
train, you see, at this moment when my memory begins. It was, by the
way, eight months ago. As I emerged from the ladies' room I could not
remember from which direction I had come. That is, I didn't know in
which direction my seat was, if you follow me."

Victor nodded more vigorously than he had intended, and she went on. "I
didn't know whether to turn to right or left. That's a frightening
feeling to have in a train, not knowing where your seat is, when you're
all closed in anyhow and you can feel the floor beneath your feet and
the walls and ceiling all rushing somewhere so terribly fast and
carrying you with it and all. I wasn't really _frightened_, you
understand, but anyway, as I say, it's a terrible feeling. So I leaned
back against the wall and tried to collect my wits. But I couldn't think
of anything. That really frightened me. So I said to myself, now just
relax and think back to where you're going and when you got on the train
and who you're with and everything like that and just relax and you'll
remember where your seat is in half a moment. But I didn't. Remember, I
mean. And suddenly I realized that I didn't remember where I was going
or who I was with or when I had got on the train or anything, anything
at all. I simply couldn't remember anything previous to a moment ago. I
was scared silly by this time, and that damned train kept on rumbling
and shaking and rushing on into I didn't know what. So I said to myself,
now just relax and keep calm. This is all very silly. Now, then, I said
after taking two deep breaths and exhaling slowly, my name is ... my
name is ... And by God, I didn't know my own name! It was such a queer
feeling I got goose pimples all over, just like that. I mean, I felt as
if I knew my name, it was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn't
say it, I just couldn't remember my own name.

"Then I began to run. I didn't know where I was going but I was scared
to hell and I just ran. I ran through five or six cars and the panic
kept getting worse, and then I turned around and began running back the
way I had come, just running as fast as I could and you know what that's
like on a train, I k