ardines, and Turkey for rhubarb. Special
messengers are travelling through Germany in search of sausages; others
are in Ireland seeking supplies of the stew of that country. Bombay is
being ransacked for its celebrated Bombay ducks, Guinea for fowls,
Norfolk for dumplings, and Chili for vinegar. Merchant traders are
already in treaty with Madeira for cakes; and while Naples is being
ransacked for ices, the Government Stationery Office at home will yield
an almost inexhaustible supply of wafers.

The guests, led by a choir arrayed in twenty-four sheets, also supplied
by the Stationery Office, will sing a delightful compound of the
drinking chorus in _Through the Looking-Glass_, and "_The Bonnets of
Bonny Dundee_," which will go as follows, all (who can) standing:--

Let's fill up our glasses with treacle and ink,
And anything else that is pleasant to drink,
And hook the best port and let us gay free,
And hurrah for STAATS FORBES and the L. C. & D.!

We can only give these few hints, as of course, this is but a small
portion of the _menu_, a mere pennyworth to any amount of ransacking.

VIVAT LUCULLUS!

* * * * *

[Illustration: THANK GOODNESS!!!

HUNGRY HOME-RULER. "WAITER! I WANT SOME MORE OF THAT 'IRISH STEW A LA
PARNELL COMMISSION.'"

HEAD WAITER. "'PARNELL COMMISSION,' SIR? _HOFF, SIR!_"]

* * * * *

A COLONIAL FRIEND PAYS ME A VISIT.

[Illustration: His Hunting Costume is rather startling.]

[Illustration: His Method of Amusing himself in Covert was unusual.]

[Illustration: His style of Riding was a trifle reckless.]

[Illustration: And when he compelled some Bullocks to join in the chase,
it was hardly the thing.]

[Illustration: But all this wouldn't have mattered so much, if he hadn't
galloped through the Hounds--]

[Illustration: And murdered the Fox with his infernal Whip!]

* * * * *

"LE KICKE-BALL" IN FRANCE.

(_A Vindication._)

MON CHER MONSIEUR PUNCH,--That you have been the victim of "a 'oax,"
crafty, ingenious, and abominable, there is now no shadow of a doubt.
That letter palmed off on to your good and trustful nature the week
before last, with the signature of "LE HEADS MASTERRE," professing to
deal with the subject of the International athleticism, I should
unfailingly pronounce, after cursory investigation, to be a forgery,
impudent and profound. For survey the fact