h contempt, was sufficient punishment for a cove so
grovelling. In the midst of a silence rendered more impressive by the
turned-up female noses with which it was pervaded, Our Missis went on:

"Shall I be believed when I tell you that no sooner had I landed," this
word with a killing look at Sniff, "on that treacherous shore, than I was
ushered into a Refreshment Room where there were, I do not exaggerate,
actually eatable things to eat?"

A groan burst from the ladies. I not only did myself the honour of
jining, but also of lengthening it out.

"Where there were," Our Missis added, "not only eatable things to eat,
but also drinkable things to drink?"

A murmur, swelling almost into a scream, ariz. Miss Piff, trembling with
indignation, called out: "Name!"

"I _will_ name," said Our Missis. "There was roast fowls, hot and cold;
there was smoking roast veal surrounded with browned potatoes; there was
hot soup with (again I ask shall I be credited?) nothing bitter in it,
and no flour to choke off the consumer; there was a variety of cold
dishes set off with jelly; there was salad; there was--mark me!--_fresh_
pastry, and that of a light construction; there was a luscious show of
fruit. There was bottles and decanters of sound small wine, of every
size and adapted to every pocket; the same odious statement will apply to
brandy; and these were set out upon the counter so that all could help
themselves."

Our Missis's lips so quivered, that Mrs. Sniff, though scarcely less
convulsed than she were, got up and held the tumbler to them.

"This," proceeds Our Missis, "was my first unconstitutional experience.
Well would it have been, if it had been my last and worst. But no. As I
proceeded further into that enslaved and ignorant land, its aspect became
more hideous. I need not explain to this assembly, the ingredients and
formation of the British Refreshment sangwich?"

Universal laughter--except from Sniff, who, as sangwich-cutter, shook his
head in a state of the utmost dejection as he stood with it agin the
wall.

"Well!" said Our Missis, with dilated nostrils. "Take a fresh crisp long
crusty penny loaf made of the whitest and best flower. Cut it longwise
through the middle. Insert a fair and nicely fitting slice of ham. Tie
a smart piece of ribbon round the middle of the whole to bind it
together. Add at one end a neat wrapper of clean white paper by which to
hold it. And the universal French Refresh