t lean. He did make all these excuses for himself, and
determined that they were of such a nature that he might rely upon
them with safety. But still there was a pang in his bosom--a silent
secret--which kept on whispering to him that he was not the best
beloved. He had, however, resolved steadfastly that he would not
put that question to Mary. If she did not wish to declare her love,
neither did he. It was a pity, a thousand pities, that it should be
so. A change in her heart might, however, take place. It would come
to pass that she would learn that he was the superior staff on which
to lean. John Gordon might disappear among the diamond-fields, and no
more be heard of. He, at any rate, would do his best for her, so that
she should not repent her bargain. But he was determined that the
bargain, as it had been struck, should be carried out. Therefore,
in communicating to Mary the invitation which he had received from
Little Alresford, he did not find it necessary to make any special
speech in answer to her inquiry about John Gordon.

She understood it all, and could not in her very heart pronounce
a judgment against him. She knew that he was doing that which he
believed would be the best for her welfare. She, overwhelmed by the
debt of her gratitude, had acceded to his request, and had been
unable afterwards to depart from her word. She had said that it
should be so, and she could not then turn upon him and declare that
when she had given him her hand, she had been unaware of the presence
of her other lover. There was an injustice, an unkindness, an
ingratitude, a selfishness in this, which forbade her to think of
it as being done by herself. It was better for her that she should
suffer, though the suffering should be through her whole life,
than that he should be disappointed. No doubt the man would suffer
too,--her hero, her lover,--he with whom she would so willingly have
risked everything, either with or without the diamonds. She could
not, however, bear to think that Mr Whittlestaff should be so very
prudent and so very wise solely on her behalf. She would go to him,
but for other reasons than that. As she walked about the place half
the day, up and down the long walk, she told herself that it was
useless to contend with her love. She did love John Gordon; she knew
that she loved him with her whole heart; she knew that she must be
true to him;--but still she would marry Mr Whittlestaff, and do her
duty in that st