I am glad or sorry to hear that,"
said Rendel, as he went towards the door.
"What are you going to do if you don't go to Africa?" Stamfordham said.
"Something else, I hope," said Rendel, with a look and an accent that
carried conviction.
"Shan't you go into the House?" said Stamfordham.
"I mean to try," Rendel said. Then as he went out he turned round and
said, "I daresay, sir, there are still possibilities in Europe, after
all."
"Very likely," said Stamfordham; and they parted.
One of the most difficult tasks of the philosopher is not to regret his
decisions. The mind that has been disciplined to determine quickly and
to abide by its determination is one of the most valuable instruments of
human equipment. But it certainly needed some philosophy on Rendel's
part, during the period that elapsed between his refusal of Lord
Belmont's offer and the departure of the newly appointed governor, not
to regret that he himself was remaining behind. Day by day the papers
were full of the administrators who were going out, of their
qualifications, of their responsibilities. Day by day Rendel looked at
the map hanging in his study and wondered what transformations the
shifting of circumstances would bring to it.
Sir William Gore, in the meantime, had got better. He had slowly thrown
off the fever that had prostrated him, although he was not able to
resume his ordinary life. He had demurred a little at first to the
proposal that he should take up his abode at Cosmo Place, then, not
unwillingly, had yielded. In his ordinary state of health he would have
been alive to the proverbial drawbacks of a joint household, but in his
present state of weakness and depression he felt he could not be alone,
and in his secret heart it was almost a relief to be away from Prince's
Gate, its memories and associations. It had been in one of these moments
of insight, of revelation almost, that suddenly, like a blinding flash
of light shows us in pitiless details the conditions that surround us,
that with intense self-pity he had said to himself that there was
actually no one in this whole world with whom he was entitled to come
first. Rachel's solicitude certainly went far to persuade him of the
contrary; but in his secret soul he bitterly resented the fact that
there should now be someone to share Rachel's allegiance, although
Rendel might well have contended that he was divided in Sir William's
favour.
CHAPTER XI
The Miss
|