ination was
over he paused in front of Merrihew, who puffed complacently.

"Signore," the conductor said politely, "_e vietato fumare_."

Merrihew replied with an uncomprehending stare.

"_Non fumer!_" said the conductor, with his hand at the side of his
mouth, as one does to a person who is suddenly discovered to be hard of
hearing.

Merrihew smiled weakly and signified that he did not understand.

"_Nicht rauchen!_" cried the official in desperation.

Merrihew extended his hands hopelessly. He had nothing belonging to the
conductor. Hillard had the tickets.

"_Niet rooken! Niet rooken!_"

"I say, Jack, what the deuce does he want, anyhow?"

"_Cigare, cigare!_" The conductor gesticulated toward the window.

"Oh!" Merrihew took the cigar from his teeth and went through the
pantomime of tossing it out of the window.

"_Si, si!_" assented the conductor, delighted that he was finally
understood.

"You might have given me the tip," Merrihew grumbled across to Hillard.
He viewed the halfburnt perfecto ruefully and filliped it through the
window. "How should I know smoking was prohibited?"

"You had your joke; this is mine. Besides, I remained silent to the
advantage of your future education. The conductor has spoken to you in
four languages--Italian, French, German and Dutch." Hillard then spoke
to the conductor. "May not my friend smoke so long as ladies do not
enter?"

"Certainly, since it does not annoy you." Then the conductor bowed and
disappeared into the next compartment.

Merrihew inscribed on the back of an envelope, for future reference, the
four phrases, and in ten minutes had, with the assistance of his
preceptor, mastered their pronunciations.

"I wish I had been born a hotel concierge," he said mournfully. "They
speak all languages, and the Lord knows where they find the time to
learn them."

"The Englishman, the Parisian and the American are the poorest
linguists," said Hillard. "They are altogether too well satisfied with
themselves and their environments to bother learning any language but
their own, and most Americans do not take the trouble to do that."

"Hear, hear!"

"It is because I am a good patriot that I complain," said Hillard. "I
love my country, big, healthy and strong as it is; but I wish my people
would brush up their learning, so that these foreigners would have less
right to make sport of us."

"There's some truth in what you say. But we are young, and going ahead
al