ncocting the most appetizing meals. I never seem to get enough of
them."

"Two a day!" suggested Mrs. Grapewine, in her sharp manner.

"No, no, no! Mrs. G., you _are_ an experienced cateress, that I
confess. But there is a delicacy in the thing which two such meals a day
would utterly destroy. You misunderstand me? It is the expectancy, the
snuffing up of the fumes beforehand, the very consciousness of your
inability to cope with it, which makes such a meal delicious. Now two a
day would leave a man no chance to get properly hungry. That's the
point. It is the preparation, the deferred hope, which render a good
dinner one of the completest luxuries of life. The hungrier one is, the
more prolonged the satisfaction of the palate. I don't think I have ever
been hungry to the fullest extent of my capacity in my life."

"Trip across Sahara!" interpolated Mrs. Grapewine.

"Yes, that would do, my dear; but I think we could accomplish it at home
by artificial means. I _think_ we could. Fasting would not do,
because the appetite would at last grow unable to discriminate. Drugs
would enfeeble it. (I'll thank you for another cup of coffee, my dear.
Ah, delicious cup of coffee!)--Drugs would enfeeble it. There is really
no direct stimulant that I know of; but I _think_ we could
intensify the appetite by a little course of diplomacy. Let us eat
frugally--sandwiches, crackers and cheese, potted meats--for the next
two weeks; and, if you please, cook us at each luncheon-time, as a sort
of stimulating accompaniment, some odorous dish,--roast-beef, stuffed
leg of lamb, roast turkey, codfish, anything with an odor,--which we
shall smell, but not taste of. Don't you see, madam?"

"No!"

"Don't you see that our stomachs will yearn for these strong delicacies,
and, going unsatisfied, will relish them the more when we at last attack
them?"

"No!"

"You have something to propose then, my dear. What is it? What have you
to propose?"

"Turkish bath!"

"What a woman you are. A Turkish bath! How, Mrs. Grapewine, can a
Turkish bath tickle a man's appetite? How can a Turkish----"

"Empty stomach."

"Ah, now I begin to see: a Turkish bath on an empty stomach. Yes, yes;
very good. But, perhaps, if we tried my plan and yours together, we
should arrive at the ideal appetite. I think a Christmas feast composed
of guests each with such an appetite would be nearly the greatest
pleasure we can know. Well, well, madam, let us think of it (Th