mells of sulphur;
Asphyxia incarnate, and horrid at that!
You _cannot_ see beauty in one who's so sooty,
So dusty, and dingy, and dismal, and dark.
He's feeble and footy; 'tis plainly your duty
To "chuck" the Old Flame, and take on the Young Spark.
A Cyclops for lover, no doubt you discover,
My dear Lady LONDON, is not _comme il faut_;
If I do not woo you the sunny earth over.
At least I lend light to love-making below.

He's just like old Pluto, Persephone's prigger;
_You_'ll follow Apollo the Younger--that's me!
He's sombre as Styx, and as black as a nigger.
_His_ lady-love, LONDON! Bah! Fiddle-de-dee!

His murky monopoly, Madam, is ended.
Come down, my dear love, to my subterrene hall!
I think you'll admit it is sparkling and splendid,
As clean as a palace, not black as a pall.
Electrical traction with sheer stupefaction
Strikes Steam, the old buffer, and spoils his small game.
You're off with the old Love, so try the new bold Love,
And let the Young Spark supersede the Old Flame.

[_Carries her off in triumph._

* * * * *

PARS ABOUT PICTURES.

Close upon a hundred years ago, when GEORGE THE THIRD was King,
MENDOZA opened a saloon in the Strand, whereat various studies in
Black and Blue might be enjoyed. To-day MENDOZA has a gallery in King
Street, which is devoted to studies in Black and White. You may say,
history repeats itself. Nothing of the kind. The gentleman of GEORGE
THE THIRD'S time devoted himself to the pugilistic art; the gentleman
of the time of VICTORIA gives his attention to graphic art. The one
was the patron of fists, the other of fingers--that makes all the
difference. MENDOZA the Past, closed eyes--MENDOZA the Present opens
them, and, if you go to the St. James's Gallery, you will find a
pleasant collection of Eye Art--open to all peepers. It is true it may
not be High Art, but you will find it, like Epps's Cocoa, "grateful
and comforting."

Mr. MCLEAN, who has had an Art-show in the Haymarket since the days
of GEORGE THE THIRD, or rather his ancestor had, is "quite up to time,
and smiling," with his present collection (your Old PAR can't help
using the argot of the P.R., and brings COLE, not to Newcastle, but to
the Haymarket, in "_A Bend in the River, near Maple Durham_." He shows
us the views of BURTON BARBER on "_Compulsory Education_," also a
wondrous picture of the "_Gate of the Gr