his
hexplanation more puffickly than what some of you in the back benches
have done 'itherto. Now, Sir, if you'll kindly repeat your very
hinterestin' remarks in a more haudible tone, I can go on between
like. [_Murmurs of "No, no!" "Shut up!" "We don't want to hear him!"
from various places_; The Man in Evening Dress _subsides into a
crimson taciturnity, which continues during the remainder of the
performance_.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

JOURNALISTIC.

"_Inspector ---- gives you the impression of a particularly able and
open-minded Police-officer_;" i.e., "An easy prey to the interviewing
correspondent."

"_It could not, of course, be expected that a particularly shrewd and
able young Solicitor would be_ very _communicative about his client's
case_;" i.e., "Knew precious little himself, and didn't even offer me
a drink."

* * * * *

QUITE THE KOCH OF THE WALK.--The great Berlin Bacteriologist.

* * * * *

ROBERT AT BURN'EM BEACHES.

They is still so jolly busy at the "Grand" that I had sum differculty
in getting leaf of habsense for Satterday, larst week, for to go with
a werry seleck Copperashun Party on a most himportent hexcurshun
to Burn'em Beaches about cuttin all the trees down, so that then it
woodn't be not Burn'em Beaches not no longer! Howewer, by promisin
for to stick to the "Grand" all thro' the cumming Winter, the too
Gentelmanly Managers let me go.

The fust thing as summat staggered me, in a long day of staggerers,
was the fack, that all the hole Party had a grand Royal Saloon all
to theirselves for to take them to Slough, but my estonishment ceased
when I saw that they was Chairmaned by the same "King of good fellers"
as took 'em all to Ship Lake on a prewious ocasion. They didn't have
not no refreshments all the way to Slough, so they was naterally all
pretty well harf starved by the time they got there, but there they
found a lovly Shampane Lunshon a waiting for to refresh xhawsted
Natur, and at it they went like One o'Clock altho it wasn't only
arf parst Elewen. Now for the second staggerer! One of the party,
a rayther antient Deputty, insted of jining the rest of the Party,
declared his intenshun to take his Lunch off the Sunshine which was
shining most brillient outside the room, and acordingly off he set a
warking up and down in it for three quorters of a hour, without