this long time since; and at
that, as sudden as he had come, the devil left me, and I knew all in
a minute that I was crouched against a wall, very cold, and my hands
hooked into my hair over my ears, and my knees drawn up under my
chin; and there was the old house on fire, the dear old house, with
Lilian inside it in her little white bed, being burnt to death, and
me her murderer! And with that I got up, and I remember I was stiff,
as if I had been screwing myself all close together to keep from
knowing what it was I had been a-doing. I ran down the meadow to our
house faster than I ever ran in my life, in at the door, and up the
stairs, all blue and black, and hidden up with coppery-coloured
smoke.

I don't know how I got up them stairs, for they were beginning to
burn too. I opened her door--all red and glowing it was inside! like
an oven when you open it to rake out the ashes on a baking-day. And
I tried to get in, because all I wanted then was to save her--to get
her out safe and sound, if I had to roast myself for it, because we
had been brought up together from little things, and I loved her
like a sister. And while I was trying to get my jacket off and round
my head, something gave way right under my feet, and I seemed to
fall straight into hell!

I was badly burnt, and what handsomeness there was about my face was
pretty well scorched out of it by that night's work; and I didn't
know anything for a bit.

When I come to myself, they had got me into bed bound up with
cotton-wool and oil and things. And the first thing I did was to sit
up and try to tear them off.

'You'll kill yourself,' says the nurse.

'Thank you,' says I, 'that's the best thing I can do, now Lilian is
dead.'

And with that the nurse gives a laugh. 'Oh, that's what's on your
mind, is it?' says she. 'Doctor said there was something. Miss
Lilian had run away that night to her young man. Lucky for her!
She's luckier than you, poor thing! And they're married and living
in lodgings at Brighton, and she's been over to see you every day.'

That day she came again. I lay still and let her thank me for having
tried to save her; for the farm men had seen the fire, and had come
up in time to see me go up the staircase to her room, and they had
pulled me out. She believes to this day the fire was an accident,
and that I would have sacrificed my life for her. And so I would;
she's right there.

I wasn't going to make her unhappy by telling her t