rely suspended in the agony of her loss, as the
miserable man fell on his knees, and in the anguish of his heart
endeavoured to find solace in prayer. In the positions they severally
occupied the servant and the master long remained--the betrayer
watching at the window, the betrayed mourning at his lost daughter's
bed--both alike silent, both alike unconscious of the lapse of time.
At length, apparently unaware at first that he was not alone in the
room, Numerian spoke. In his low, broken, tremulous accents, none of
his adherents would have recognised the voice of the eloquent
preacher--the bold chastiser of the vices of the Church. The whole
nature of the man--moral, intellectual, physical--seemed fatally and
completely changed.
'She was innocent, she was innocent!' he whispered to himself. 'And
even had she been guilty, was it for me to drive her from my doors! My
part, like my Redeemer's, was to teach repentance, and to show mercy!
Accursed be the pride and anger that drove justice and patience from my
heart, when I beheld her, as I thought, submitting herself without a
struggle or a cry, to my dishonour, and hers! Could I not have
imagined her terror, could I not have remembered her purity? Alas, my
beloved, if I myself have been the dupe of the wicked, what marvel is
it that you should have been betrayed as well! And I have driven you
from me, you, from whose mouth no word of anger ever dropped! I have
thrust you from my bosom, you, who were the adornment of my age! My
death approaches, and you will not be by to pardon my heavy offence, to
close my weary eyes, to mourn by my solitary tomb! God--oh God! If I
am left thus lonely on the earth, thou hast punished me beyond what I
can bear!'
He paused--his emotions for the instant bereft him of speech. After an
interval, he muttered to himself in a low, moaning voice--'I called her
harlot! My pure, innocent child! I called her harlot--I called her
harlot!'
In a paroxysm of despair, he started up and looked distractedly around
him. Ulpius still stood motionless at the window. At the sight of the
ruthless Pagan he trembled in every limb. All those infirmities of age
that had been hitherto spared him, seemed to overwhelm him in an
instant. He feebly advanced to his betrayer's side, and addressed him
thus:--
'I have lodged you, taught you, cared for you; I have never intruded on
your secrets, never doubted your word, and for all this, you hav
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