t was a full confession and outpouring of his troubles. It cost him
much, for there was shame at his own folly and selfishness, and he
had to disclose extravagance that he well knew to be, in John's eyes,
especially inexcusable. So painful was the effort, that even his fears
for his family would not alone have determined him on making it, if it
had not been for his new resolution to face the worst, and to have no
more shufflings or concealments. He could bear to tell John better than
his father, and Percy had bound him to silence towards Lord Martindale.
The whole was explained to the best of his powers, which were not at
present great. His debts, including that to Percy, he believed to exceed
ten thousand, his resources were limited to the sale of his commission,
and the improbable recovery of the debt from Gardner--his wife and
children were entirely unprovided for. 'I can only trust to your
kindness,' he wrote. 'If I could see you, I could die in peace. I know
that while you live, you will never see Violet distressed. I have no
right to ask anything, but this much I will and must beg may be looked
on as my last wish. Never let the children be taken from their mother's
charge. If they are to be better than I, it must be her doing. And
though this is more than I should dare to ask, if you can help me, do
not, when I am gone, let my boys grow up to find their father's memory
loaded with these hateful debts, hanging round their necks like a
burden. I know Johnnie's sense of honour would never let him rest
till they were cleared; but I cannot look at his face and think of his
hearing how I have served his mother. He does love me now, Heaven
knows, undeservedly enough. I cannot bear to think of a cloud on his
remembrance of me.'

CHAPTER 15

Either grief will not come, or if it must,
Do not forecast.
And while it cometh, it is almost past.
Away distrust,
My God hath promised, He is just.

--G. HERBERT

'Arthur, the landlady has been to ask how much longer we shall want the
rooms!'

'How long have we been here?'

'We came on the 20th of April, and this is the 3rd of June. What a
difference it has made in you!'

'And in you; Ventnor is a grand doctor.'

'And Johnnie is really beginning to have a colour. How pleased his
grandpapa will be to see him so much stronger and more spirited. I do
not think Lord Martindale could have done anything kinder by us than
sending us he