eyes rested upon a curious gold ring of Indian
workmanship which he wore upon his left hand. There was no mistaking the
ring, at all events: it had been passed round the club on more than one
occasion as a unique curiosity. His eyes followed my gaze. He burst
into tears, and pushing me before him into a quiet corner of the saloon,
sat down facing me.

"'Don't give me away, old man,' he whimpered; 'for Gawd's sake, don't let
on to any of the chaps 'ere that I'm a member of that blessed old waxwork
show in Saint James's: they'd never speak to me agen. And keep yer mug
shut about Oxford, there's a good sort. I wouldn't 'ave 'em know as 'ow
I was one o' them college blokes for anythink.'

"I sat aghast. I had listened to hear him entreat me to keep 'Smith,'
the rorty 'Arry, a secret from the acquaintances of 'Smythe,' the
superior person. Here was 'Smith' in mortal terror lest his pals should
hear of his identity with the aristocratic 'Smythe,' and discard him. His
attitude puzzled me at the time, but, when I came to reflect, my wonder
was at myself for having expected the opposite.

"'I carn't 'elp it,' he went on; 'I 'ave to live two lives. 'Arf my time
I'm a stuck-up prig, as orter be jolly well kicked--'

"'At which times,' I interrupted, 'I have heard you express some
extremely uncomplimentary opinions concerning 'Arries.'

"'I know,' he replied, in a voice betraying strong emotion; 'that's where
it's so precious rough on me. When I'm a toff I despises myself, 'cos I
knows that underneath my sneering phiz I'm a bloomin' 'Arry. When I'm an
'Arry, I 'ates myself 'cos I knows I'm a toff.'

"'Can't you decide which character you prefer, and stick to it?' I asked.

"'No,' he answered, 'I carn't. It's a rum thing, but whichever I am,
sure as fate, 'bout the end of a month I begin to get sick o' myself.'

"'I can quite understand it,' I murmured; 'I should give way myself in a
fortnight.'

"'I've been myself, now,' he continued, without noticing my remark, 'for
somethin' like ten days. One mornin', in 'bout three weeks' time, I
shall get up in my diggins in the Mile End Road, and I shall look round
the room, and at these clothes 'angin' over the bed, and at this yer
concertina' (he gave it an affectionate squeeze), 'and I shall feel
myself gettin' scarlet all over. Then I shall jump out o' bed, and look
at myself in the glass. "You howling little cad," I shall say to myself,
"I have half a mind to str