in a dim corner of the orchestra. Henarez never moved
his eyes from me. The wretch had discovered the one spot from which
he could see me--and there he was. I don't know what he may be as a
politician, but for love he has a genius.

Behold, my fair Renee, where our business now stands,

as the great Corneille has said.

XIII. MME. DE L'ESTORADE TO MLLE. DE CHAULIEU LA CRAMPADE, February.

My dear Louise,--I was bound to wait some time before writing to you;
but now I know, or rather I have learned, many things which, for the
sake of your future happiness, I must tell you. The difference between
a girl and a married woman is so vast, that the girl can no more
comprehend it than the married woman can go back to girlhood again.

I chose to marry Louis de l'Estorade rather than return to the convent;
that at least is plain. So soon as I realized that the convent was the
only alternative to marrying Louis, I had, as girls say, to "submit,"
and my submission once made, the next thing was to examine the situation
and try to make the best of it.

The serious nature of what I was undertaking filled me at first with
terror. Marriage is a matter concerning the whole of life, whilst love
aims only at pleasure. On the other hand, marriage will remain when
pleasures have vanished, and it is the source of interests far more
precious than those of the man and woman entering on the alliance. Might
it not therefore be that the only requisite for a happy marriage was
friendship--a friendship which, for the sake of these advantages, would
shut its eyes to many of the imperfections of humanity? Now there was
no obstacle to the existence of friendship between myself and Louis
de l'Estorade. Having renounced all idea of finding in marriage those
transports of love on which our minds used so often, and with such
perilous rapture, to dwell, I found a gentle calm settling over me.
"If debarred from love, why not seek for happiness?" I said to myself.
"Moreover, I am loved, and the love offered me I shall accept. My
married life will be no slavery, but rather a perpetual reign. What is
there to say against such a situation for a woman who wishes to remain
absolute mistress of herself?"

The important point of separating marriage from marital rights was
settled in a conversation between Louis and me, in the course of which
he gave proof of an excellent temper and a tender heart. Darling, my
desire was to prolong that fair season of