then? A man need
but crawl upon his hands and knees, know when to close his eyes and when
his ears, when to stoop and when to stand upright; and if by the world is
meant that atom of it in which he moves himself, he shall please it,
never fear.

Now, it will be readily seen, that if a plausible man or woman have an
easy means of pleasing the world by an adaptation of self to all its
twistings and twinings, a plausible man _and_ woman, or, in other words,
a plausible couple, playing into each other's hands, and acting in
concert, have a manifest advantage. Hence it is that plausible couples
scarcely ever fail of success on a pretty large scale; and hence it is
that if the reader, laying down this unwieldy volume at the next full
stop, will have the goodness to review his or her circle of acquaintance,
and to search particularly for some man and wife with a large connexion
and a good name, not easily referable to their abilities or their wealth,
he or she (that is, the male or female reader) will certainly find that
gentleman or lady, on a very short reflection, to be a plausible couple.

The plausible couple are the most ecstatic people living: the most
sensitive people--to merit--on the face of the earth. Nothing clever or
virtuous escapes them. They have microscopic eyes for such endowments,
and can find them anywhere. The plausible couple never fawn--oh no!
They don't even scruple to tell their friends of their faults. One is
too generous, another too candid; a third has a tendency to think all
people like himself, and to regard mankind as a company of angels; a
fourth is kind-hearted to a fault. 'We never flatter, my dear Mrs.
Jackson,' say the plausible couple; 'we speak our minds. Neither you nor
Mr. Jackson have faults enough. It may sound strangely, but it is true.
You have not faults enough. You know our way,--we must speak out, and
always do. Quarrel with us for saying so, if you will; but we repeat
it,--you have not faults enough!'

The plausible couple are no less plausible to each other than to third
parties. They are always loving and harmonious. The plausible gentleman
calls his wife 'darling,' and the plausible lady addresses him as
'dearest.' If it be Mr. and Mrs. Bobtail Widger, Mrs. Widger is
'Lavinia, darling,' and Mr. Widger is 'Bobtail, dearest.' Speaking of
each other, they observe the same tender form. Mrs. Widger relates what
'Bobtail' said, and Mr. Widger recounts what 'darling