blue
eyes, a turned-up nose, and a full under lip, which he had a habit of
protruding with an air of no mean pretension; a short crop of curly
black hair covered a head as round as a billiard-ball. These traits,
with a certain peculiar smack of his mouth, by which he occasionally
testified the approval of his own eloquence, were the most remarkable
things about him. His great ambition was to be thought a military man;
but somehow his pretensions in this respect smacked much more of the
militia than the line. Indeed, he possessed a kind of adroit way of
asserting the superiority of the former to the latter, averring that
they who fought _pro arts et focis_--the Major was fond of Latin--stood
on far higher ground than the travelled mercenaries who only warred for
pay. This peculiarity, and an absurd attachment to practical jokes, the
result of which had frequently through life involved him in lawsuits,
damages, compensations, and even duels, formed the great staple of his
character--of all which the good priest informed me most fully on our
way to the house.

'Captain Hinton, I believe,' said the Major, as he held out his hand in
welcome.

'Mr. Hinton,' said I, bowing.

'Ay, yes; Father Tom, there, doesn't know much about these matters. What
regiment, pray?'

'The Grenadier Guards.'

'Oh, a very good corps--mighty respectable corps; not that, between
ourselves, I think overmuch of the regulars; between you and me, I never
knew foreign travel do good to man or beast. What do they bring back
with them, I'd like to know?--French cookery and Italian licentiousness.
No, no; give me the native troops! You were a boy at the time, but maybe
you have heard how they behaved in the west, when Hoche landed. Egad! if
it wasn't for the militia the country was sacked. I commanded a company
of the Roscommon at the time. I remember well we laid siege to a
windmill, held by a desperate fellow, the miller--a resolute character,
Mr. Hinton; he had two guns in the place with him.'

'I wish to the Lord he had shot you with one of them, and we 'd have
been spared this long story!' said the priest.

'I opened a parallel----'

'Maybe you 'd open the pie?' said the priest, as he drew his chair, and
sat down to the table. 'Perhaps you forget, Bob, we have had a sharp
ride of it this evening?'

'Upon my conscience, so I did,' replied the Major good-humouredly. 'So
let us have a bit of supper now, Mr. Hinton, and I'll finish my story
by