pear to enjoy
society, not as a refuge for your own weariness, not as an escape-valve
for your own vapours, but really as a source of pleasurable emotions--an
occasion for drawing closer the bonds of intimacy, for being agreeable
to your friends, and for making yourselves happy. Alas! you have much
to learn in this respect; you know not yet how preferable is the languid
look of _blase_ beauty to the brilliant eye and glowing cheek of
happy girlhood; you know not how superior is the cutting sarcasm, the
whispered equivoque, to the kind welcome and the affectionate greeting;
and while enjoying the pleasure of meeting your friends, you absolutely
forget to be critical upon their characters or their costume!

What a pity it is that good-nature is underbred, and good-feeling is
vulgarity; for, after all, while I contrasted the tone of everything
around me with the supercilious cant and unimpassioned coldness of
London manners, I could not but confess to myself that the difference
was great and the interval enormous. To which side my own heart
inclined, it needed not my affection for Louisa Bellew to tell me; yes,
I had seen enough of life to learn how far are the real gifts of worth
and excellence preferable to the adventitious polish of high society.
While these thoughts rushed through my mind, another flashed across it.
What if my lady-mother were here! What if my proud cousin! How would her
dark eyes brighten as some absurd or ludicrous feature of the company
would suggest its _mot_ of malice or its speech of sarcasm! how would
their air, their carriage, their deportment, appear in _her_ sight! I
could picture to myself the cold scorn of her manner towards the men,
the insulting courtesy of her demeanour to the women; the affected
_naivete_ with which she would question them as to their everyday
habits, and habitudes, their usages and their wants, as though she were
inquiring into the manners and customs of South Sea Islanders! I could
imagine the ineffable scorn with which she would receive what were meant
to be kind and polite attentions; and I could fashion to myself her
look, her manner, and her voice when escaping, as she would call it,
from her _Nuit parmi les sauvages_, she would caricature every trait,
every feature of the party, converting into food for laughter their
frank and hospitable bearing, and making their very warmth of heart the
groundwork of a sarcasm.

The ball continued with unabated vigour, and as,