rman Caution, 361
Ben. McConachy's great Dog Sell, 362
The Perils of Wealth, 367
Nursing a Legacy, 372
The Troubles of a Mover, 377
The Question Settled, 382
How it's done at the Astor House, 383
The Advertisement, 387
Incidents in a Fortune-hunter's Life, 400
A Distinction with a Difference, 408
Pills and Persimmons, 409
Mysteries and Miseries of the Life of a City Editor, 414
The Tribulations of Incivility, 415
The Broomstick Marriage, 420
Appearances are Deceitful, 427
Cigar Smoke, 431
An everlasting tall Duel, 432

* * * * *

THE HUMORS OF FALCONBRIDGE.

* * * * *

If it ain't right, I'll make it all right in the Morning!

A keen, genteely dressed, gentlemanly man "put up" at Beltzhoover's
Hotel, in Baltimore, one day some years ago, and after dining very
sumptuously every day, drinking his Otard, Margieux and Heidsic, and
smoking his "Tras," "Byrons," and "Cassadoras," until the landlord began
to surmise the "bill" getting voluminous, he made the clerk foot it up
and present it to our modern Don Caesar De Bazan, who, casting his eye
over the long lines of perpendicularly arranged figures, discovered
that--which in no wise alarmed him, however--he was in for a matter of a
cool C!

"Ah! yes, I see; _well_, I presume it's all right, all correct, sir, no
doubt about it," says Don Caesar.

"No doubt at all, sir," says the polite clerk,--"we seldom present a
bill, sir, until the gentlemen are about to leave, sir; but when the
bills are unusually large, sir--"

"Large, sir? Large, my dear fellow"--says the Don--"bless your soul, you
don't call _that_ large? Why, sir, a--a--that is, when I was in
Washington, at Gadsby's, sir, bless you, I frequently had my friends
of the Senate and the Ministers to dine at my rooms, and what do you
su