ning, and twisting their
fingers at the apex of their noses!

"Alderman Jones! Alderman Jones!" bawled the roll-caller.

"Here!" roared the missing individual, bursting into the room.

"Alderman Hall!" continued the roll.

"Here!" responded that notable worthy, rushing in, entirely blowed out.

"Beat, by thunder!" roared the locos, in grand chorus; and in the modern
classics of the Bowery, "they wasn't any thing else." The whigs not only
had the cut but the entire _deal_ in the appointments that time, and
Alderman Brown had a _bill_ at Harlem, a little more serious to foot
than the racing of the aldermen to get a chance to vote.

Getting Square.

It seems to be just as natural for a subordinate in a "grocery" to levy
upon the _till_, for material aid to his own pocket, as for the sparks
to fly upwards or water run down hill. Innumerable stories are told of
the peculations of these "light-fingered gentry," but one of the best of
the boodle is a story we are now about to dress up and trot out, for
your diversion.

A tavern-keeper in this city, some years ago, advertised for a
bar-keeper, "a young man from the country preferred!" Among the several
applicants who exhibited themselves "for the vacancy," was a decent,
harmless-looking youth whose general _contour_ at once struck the
tavern-keeper with most favorable impressions.

"So you wish to try your hand tending bar?"

"Yes, sir," said he.

"Have you ever tended bar?"

"No, sir; but I do not doubt my ability to learn."

"Yes, yes, you can learn fast enough," says the tavern-keeper. "In fact,
I'm glad you are green at the business, you will suit me the better; the
last fellow I had come to me recommended as one of the best bar-keepers
in New Orleans; he was posted up in all the fancy drinks and fancy
names, he wore fancy clothes and had a fancy dog, and I fancied pretty
soon that the rascal had taken a fancy to my small change, so I
discharged him in double quick time."

"Served him right, sir," said the new applicant.

"Of course I did. Well now, sir, I'll engage you; you can get the 'run'
of things in a few weeks. I will give you twenty-five dollars a month,
first month, and thirty dollars a month for the balance of the year."

"I'll accept it, sir," says the youth.

"Do you think it's enough?"

"O, yes, indeed, sir!"

"Well," says Boniface. "Now mark me, young man, I will pay you,
punctually, but you mustn't pay yourself extra wages!"