ask God's
forgiveness? If so, would it be any better to ask Him to forgive me just
before I died or immediately afterward? What difference would it make?
Then again I wondered if God would have any more respect for me if after
committing the deed I whined and begged for mercy. Would He not consider
that cowardly on my part? Would He not think better of me if I went
forward bravely and said: Here I am, O God, I know I have done wrong,
now punish me as Thou see'st fit. What would I do if I were to occupy
the Creator's position as supreme judge in a case of that kind? Would I
not think far more of the man who would come forward courageously and
take the punishment he deserved than the creeping, cringing and whining
being who begged for mercy? Would God the Creator be more unreasonable
about the matter than I, whom He had created?

I had always thanked God as well as my parents for the extraordinary
physical strength and courage with which I was endowed, and during my
life of trials and hardships that courage had never been shaken by man
or beast, but now I felt that the crucial test was about to be applied.
Would the courage the Almighty gave me weaken when about to face Him who
had bestowed it upon me?

With these and similar thoughts passing through my mind and my strength
exhausted, I took one long breath and sank beneath the water.

CHAPTER IV

Sinking slowly down with a feeling of drowsiness stealing away my
senses, I was suddenly awakened by my body coming to an abrupt stop and
resting upon some hard substance. My first impression was that I had
collided with some huge sea-monster and was about to be devoured. So
placing my hands and feet firmly upon it I sprang upward with all the
force I could command in an effort to get out of its reach, but to my
great surprise my head and half of my body shot out of the water into
the air above and down I came again square upon my feet with a jolt that
caused my teeth to rattle. And there I stood with my head and shoulders
out of the water while my lungs inhaled long draughts of pure fresh air.
I was too astonished to think and too weak to move, so I just stood
there motionless until I had regained my equilibrium. I could never
forget how sweet life seemed to me at that time. For a long time I
remained standing there without giving a thought as to what I was
resting upon, and when I did direct my attention to the question I was
incapable of forming a satisfactory solution t