keep their eyes steadily fixed on the golden gate of
the New Jerusalem. They were unbalanced, emotional, hysterical,
bigoted, hateful, loving, and insane. They really believed the
Bible to be the actual word of God--a book without mistake or
contradiction. They called its cruelties, justice--its absurdities,
mysteries--its miracles, facts, and the idiotic passages were
regarded as profoundly spiritual. They dwelt on the pangs, the
regrets, the infinite agonies of the lost, and showed how easily
they could be avoided, and how cheaply heaven could be obtained.
They told their hearers to believe, to have faith, to give their
hearts to God, their sins to Christ, who would bear their burdens
and make their souls as white as snow.

All this the ministers really believed. They were absolutely
certain. In their minds the Devil had tried in vain to sow the
seeds of doubt.

I heard hundreds of these evangelical sermons--heard hundreds of
the most fearful and vivid descriptions of the tortures inflicted
in hell, of the horrible state of the lost. I supposed that what I
heard was true and yet I did not believe it. I said, "It is," and
then I thought, "It can not be."

From my childhood I had heard read, and read the Bible. Morning and
evening the sacred volume was opened and prayers were said. The
Bible was my first history, the Jews were the first people, and
the events narrated by Moses and the other inspired writers, and
those predicted by prophets, were the all-important things. In
other books were found the thoughts and dreams of men, but in the
Bible were the sacred truths of God.

Yet, in spite of my surroundings, of my education, I had no love
for God. He was so saving of mercy, so extravagant in murder, so
anxious to kill, so ready to assassinate, that I hated Him with all
my heart. At His command, babes were butchered, women violated, and
the white hair of trembling age stained with blood. This God
visited the people with pestilence--filled the houses and covered
the streets with the dying and the dead--saw babes starving on the
empty breasts of pallid mothers, heard the sobs, saw the tears, the
sunken cheeks, the sightless eyes, the new-made graves, and
remained as pitiless as the pestilence.

This God withheld the rain--caused the fa