d to His love, and shows His respect for what they can
do. God's love and respect for men was expressed through the person of
Jesus and continues to be expressed through persons in each generation.
His people, the servants of His Spirit, are the ones who will break the
vicious circle of mutual non-respect, and give the gift of mutual
respect.

We can respect ourselves, therefore, because God shows His respect for
us by loving and working through us. When we have a great task to do
that calls for the courage and heroism of love, we can take a chance and
set ourselves to the task because our faith in God makes it possible to
have faith in ourselves and in those whom we would love. When we let our
misgivings deter us so that we turn away from the challenges of love, we
not only repudiate ourselves, but also turn our backs on God's affirming
judgment of us.

Mutual respect has some identifiable characteristics. First, we must
respect one another as autonomous, deciding persons. We cannot make our
children and others do what we may think they ought to do. We can only
meet them with whatever resources we have, and out of respect for their
own power of decision and action leave them free to make their response.
Then, when they have made it, we must respect it even though they may
not be doing what we want them to do or doing it in the way we think
best. Our decisions and way of life will not work for others.

We must also respect one another's dependence. But respect for others'
dependence should not increase it; that is, we should try to meet their
need, but not exploit it. Some years ago I was invited to lead a clergy
conference on the subject of pastoral counseling. During the opening
dinner before the beginning of the sessions, I sat next to a minister
who tried to impress me with how much he knew about pastoral counseling.
Among other things, he said, "You know, it's a wonderful thing to stand
up before my congregation on Sunday morning and be able to count the
increasing number of people who depend upon me for my pastoral care."
The temptation to exploit human need is insidious, and we have all
succumbed to it many times and in many ways. That pastor might better
have rejoiced in those of his congregation who, in spite of their
dependence and need, were able to use his help in their own independent
way and thus grow stronger and more resourceful. Likewise, we may
minister to the needs of our children and accept their d