s selfish! And yet it was _he_ that suffered, _he_ that was
wronged, _he_ that was to be pitied! His wife was the adventuress,
forsooth! who deserved all she got. Oh, these men, these men, that treat
us as they please, because they are so sure of sympathy, even from our
fellow-slaves and sisters!"
She bent again to her occupation, but only for a minute. "All this is
labor in vain, Dick," muttered she, laying down her pen; "the luck is
gone both from you and from me. If I were thirty years younger, indeed,
and might have my chance once more, I would tame your father yet. I
ought to have beaten his meek-faced mother out of doors; I ought to have
trained his bold-eyed girl to work my will with him. She should have
been my accomplice, and not hers; but, now, what boots it that old age
has spared me? Yonder is the only woman!"--she looked toward the
picture--"who has found a way to win mankind, save as their toy. My
reign has been longer than that of most; but it is over." She rose, and,
holding up the lamp, surveyed herself, with a mocking face, in the round
glass. "And this was once Jane Hardcastle, was it? _This_ was her face,
and _this_ her figure! No drunkard, staggering home through such a night
as this, could take me for her now! She had wits too; and better for me
had I lost them with all the rest; then I should not have the sense to
be so bitter! What a future she must once have had before her, if she
had but known what men were made of! It is only when too late that such
women discover what they have missed. This mad Carew was tinder to a
flash of these bright eyes; and the fool Yorke, except in his wild
creeds, as pliant as a hazel twig. I used to think yonder woman was an
idiot, because she believed in a place of torment; but she was right
there. Yes, Joanna," she continued, apostrophizing the picture, "I'm
compelled to confess that you are right; for, being in hell, it is idle
to deny its existence."
She placed the lamp once more upon the table, yet did not seat herself
beside it, but walked hastily up and down the room. "To be young no
more, to be poor and powerless, to have no hope in this world nor belief
in a better, to have lost even belief in one's self--is not that to be
in Gehenna? I am punished for my sins, men say. Hypocrites! liars! Why
is _he_ not punished? Why is he proud, and strong, and prosperous? Sins?
If Judgment-day should come to-morrow, my soul would be as pure as snow
beside that man's!
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