"Cook-General, good (26), Wanted immediately, or by December 6th,
for three months, in Exeter. Wages 50s. per mouth."--_Express
and Echo (Exeter)_.

We confidently hope that she has only one.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Mother_. "GOOD GRACIOUS! THAT'S NOT YOUR NEW BEST HAT?"

_Child_. "WELL, MOTHER, YOU KNOW I TOLD YOU WHEN WE GOT IT THAT IT
WOULDN'T WEAR WELL."

_Mother_. "I DON'T REMEMBER YOUR SAYING SO."

_Child_. "YES, MOTHER. SURELY YOU REMEMBER I SAID, 'THE FIRST TIME
THAT HAT'S SAT ON IT'S DONE FOR'?"]

* * * * *

BELIEVE ME OR BELIEVE ME NOT.

Although he had been rendered absolutely dumb by shell-shock the
soldier was able to earn a little extra money by doing odd jobs.
But nothing could get his speech back. It was a very stubborn and
perplexing case. For eighteen months he had not succeeded in uttering
a word, though understanding everything that was said to him. All the
usual devices had failed; every kind of sudden surprise to startle
him into articulation had been attempted; electricity had been passed
through the muscles of the tongue and larynx; doctors had discussed
him with a volubility only equalled by his own silence. But he
remained dumb. It seemed hopeless.

Last week the mistress of the house where he was mostly employed sent
him to the grocer's with, as usual, a slip of paper. The paper was
addressed to the grocer, and it said, "Please do your utmost to give
the bearer some sugar and tea. Even the smallest quantity will be
gratefully welcomed."

Entering the shop the soldier laid the message on the counter,
prepared to wait patiently for the harassed tradesman to attend to
him. He had often been there before and knew what it meant; but on
this occasion the grocer instantly advanced to meet him, took the
paper smilingly and read it.

"Certainly," he replied. "I suppose four pounds of each would be
enough to go on with?"

"Four pounds!" said the soldier. "Strike me pink, she'd think herself
the Queen with four ounces!"

* * * * *

THINGS WE SHOULD LIKE TO SEE ILLUSTRATED.

From a recent novel:--

"... Then the gong went, and she followed it into the
dining-room ..."

* * * * *

"Class A (fit for general service) is subdivided as
follows:--1--Men actually fit for general service in any theatre
in all respects. 2--Recr