eath!"--"You!" I exclaim.--"Yes! by the Commune!"--"And wherefore?" I
ask.--"Because I write on the _Figaro_."--"Why, I never knew
that!"--"Oh! not very often; but last year I addressed a letter to the
Editor, to explain to him that my new farce called 'My Aunt's Garters'
had nothing at all to do with 'My Uncle's Braces,' which is by somebody
else. You understand that I did not want to change the title, which is
rather good of its kind, so I wrote to the _Figaro_, and as my letter
was inserted, and as the Commune condemns all the contributors.... You
see ...!"--"Perfectly! Why, my dear fellow, you ought to have been off
before. Of course you go to Versailles?"--"Why, yes."--"By the railway?"
I cannot help having a joke at his expense.--"Yes, of course."--"Well,
if I were you, I would not, really; the engine might blow up, or you
might run into a luggage train. Such things do happen in the best of
times, and I think the Commune capable of anything to get rid of so
dangerous an adversary."--"You don't mean to say," says the poor little,
man in a tremor, "that they would go to such lengths! Well, at any rate
I will travel by the road."[29]

A little farther up the Boulevard des Italiens I see another
acquaintance. "What, still in Paris?" I say, shaking hands with him.--"I
am off this evening," he answers.--"Are you condemned to death?"--"No,
but I shall be tried to-night."--"The devil! Do you write on the
_Figaro_!"--"No, no, it is quite a long story. Three years ago, I made
the acquaintance of a charming blonde, who reciprocated my advances, and
made herself highly agreeable. In a word, I was smitten. Unfortunately
there was a husband in the case!"--"The devil there was!"--"He made
inquiries, and found out who I was, and ..."--"And invited you to mortal
combat?"--"Oh! no, he is a hosier. But from that day forth he became my
most bitter enemy."--"Very disagreeable of him, I am sure, but I do not
see how the enmity of this retail dealer obliges you to quit
Paris?"--"Why, you see he has a cousin who is elected a member of the
Commune."--"I understand your uneasiness; you fear the latent revenge of
this unreasonable hosier."--"I am to be tried to-night, but it is not
the fear of death which makes me fly. It is worse than that. Those
Hotel de Ville people are capable of anything, and I hear they are going
to make a law on divorce. I know the malignity of the lady's
husband--and I believe he is capable of getting a divorce, and