few only of my adventures, without regard to any order.

"A Roman Jew, who was a great lover of Falernian wine, and who indulged
himself very freely with it, came to dine at my house; when, knowing he
should meet with little wine, and that of the cheaper sort, sent me in
half-a-dozen jars of Falernian. Can you believe I would not give this
man his own wine? Sir, I adulterated it so that I made six jars
of [them] three, which he and his friend drank; the other three I
afterwards sold to the very person who originally sent them me, knowing
he would give a better price than any other.

"A noble Roman came one day to my house in the country, which I had
purchased, for half the value, of a distressed person. My neighbors paid
him the compliment of some music, on which account, when he departed,
he left a piece of gold with me to be distributed among them. I pocketed
this money, and ordered them a small vessel of sour wine, which I could
not have sold for above two drachms, and afterwards made them pay in
work three times the value of it.

"As I was not entirely void of religion, though I pretended to
infinitely more than I had, so I endeavored to reconcile my transactions
to my conscience as well as possible. Thus I never invited any one to
eat with me, but those on whose pockets I had some design. After our
collation it was constantly my method to set down in a book I kept for
that purpose, what I thought they owed me for their meal. Indeed, this
was generally a hundred times as much as they could have dined elsewhere
for; but, however, it was quid pro quo, if not ad valorem. Now, whenever
the opportunity offered of imposing on them I considered it only as
paying myself what they owed me: indeed, I did not always confine myself
strictly to what I had set down, however extravagant that was; but I
reconciled taking the overplus to myself as usance.

"But I was not only too cunning for others--I sometimes overreached
myself. I have contracted distempers for want of food and warmth, which
have put me to the expense of a physician; nay, I once very narrowly
escaped death by taking bad drugs, only to save one seven-eighth per
cent in the price.

"By these and such like means, in the midst of poverty and every kind of
distress, I saw myself master of an immense fortune, the casting up and
ruminating on which was my daily and only pleasure. This was, however,
obstructed and embittered by two considerations, which against my wi