y finding out
amusements suited to her moderate wishes. But it became by habit a
thing so absolutely necessary for her to have her mind thus occupied,
that, without it, it was impossible to exercise the smallest influence
over her temper or inclinations. Although she loved me tenderly, and I
was the only person, as she often declared, in whose society she could
ever find the pure enjoyments of love, yet I felt thoroughly convinced
that her attachment could not withstand certain apprehensions. She
would have preferred me, even with a moderate fortune, to the whole
world; but I had no kind of doubt that she would, on the other hand,
abandon me for some new M. de B----, when I had nothing more to offer
her than fidelity and love.

"I resolved therefore so to curtail my own individual expenses, as to
be able always to meet hers, and rather to deprive myself of a thousand
necessaries than even to limit her extravagance. The carriage made me
more uneasy than anything else, for I saw no chance of being able to
maintain either coachman or horses.

"I told M. Lescaut of my difficulties, and did not conceal from him
that I had received a thousand francs from a friend. He repeated, that
if I wished to try the chances of the gaming-table, he was not without
hopes that, by spending a few crowns in entertaining his associates, I
might be, on his recommendation, admitted into the association. With
all my repugnance to cheating, I yielded to dire necessity.

"Lescaut presented me that night as a relation of his own. He added,
that I was the more likely to succeed in my new profession, from
wanting the favours of fortune. However, to show them that I was not
quite reduced to the lowest ebb, he said it was my intention to treat
them with a supper. The offer was accepted, and I entertained them en
prince. They talked a good deal about my fashionable appearance and
the apparent amiability of my disposition; they said that the best
hopes might be entertained of me, because there was something in my
countenance that bespoke the gentleman, and no one therefore could have
a suspicion of my honesty: they voted thanks to Lescaut for having
introduced so promising a novice, and deputed one of the members to
instruct me for some days in the necessary manoeuvres.

"The principal scene of my exploits was the hotel of Transylvania,
where there was a faro table in one room, and other games of cards and
dice in the gallery. This academy w