as the happiest. Soon after, I
attained to clear views in a scientific way, while my brother, left to
himself, wavered to and fro, which was still perceptible, even in his
old age. The insoluble question--why reason was reason?--gave
unspeakable suffering to my poor brother. Undoubtedly my lighter tone
of mind, my fancy, which gave me a poetic feeling, and especially my
disposition to give up groping over difficult passages, were a help to
me. With my brother reason prevailed too much.

"We passed three blessed weeks. To me the Academy was to some extent a
great pleasure; the Zittauer students took pains to make my residence
agreeable to me. The theatre we visited assiduously, we loved plays
passionately, and when the actors were at Zittau, we had learnt under
the guidance of the last tutor, to criticise with judgment Don Carlos
was given, Agnes Bernaner, and Kaspar der Thorringer; deep was the
impression left upon me, and I confessed secretly to myself, that I
should not find it disagreeable to be an actor. Even in this the idea
of public speaking exercised its charm upon me. A hundred times,
perhaps, did we act plays in that year, frequently extempore. It was
singular that the old _roles_, as we called them, were particularly
suitable to me. But comic parts I could not manage, which, strange as
it may appear, my brother frequently chose, although he had
qualifications for the more serious ones, and, according to my
judgment, he often failed in the comic parts. A friend played the
military _roles_, to which I had a great aversion.

"How great the advantage of public instruction! It may sometimes have
its defects, and unfortunately schools are often laboratories of
temptation. But how true are Quintilian's words, that children often
carry to school faults from home! Great is the advantage that public
institutions are open to inspection, and that freedom of mind prospers
there more than in private education, and emulation awakens and
nourishes the power of self-exertion.

"These hours of enjoyment with my brother came to an end. On the Monday
after _oculi_ I was introduced, after a successful examination, by
Director Sintenis. I became immediately 'sixth form boy' at the third
table. This excited great envy and caused me many bitter hours. I, who
without falsehood and malice, meant well by every one, did not
understand what many of the seniors meant. Finally, however, my good
behaviour got the better of them, I remain