hadwick ain't no criterion to judge by,
Abe, because what war done to make the newspapers forget their old
friends Bryan and Evelyn Nesbut ain't a marker on what peace is going to
do to a great many of these here front-page propositions which is
nowadays accustomed to being continued on page two, column five,
y'understand. Why, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if in about five or six
years from now, Abe, you are going to take up the paper some morning and
read an item like this:

OBITUARY NOTES

Max K. Hindenberg, 83 years old, a clothing merchant, member of the
firm of Hindenberg & Levy, and recording secretary of Sigmund Meyer
Post No. 97 Veterans of the War of 1914-1918, died early yesterday at
his home, 2076 East 8th Street, Potsdam, Germany, yesterday. Deceased
was a native of East Prussia.

And the chances is that ninety-nine out of a hundred people ain't even
going to say to themselves, 'Where did I hear that name before?'"

"That's where you make a big mistake, Mawruss," Abe said. "Hindenberg is
a very popular feller in Germany, and I bet yer that on every map filed
in the county clerks' offices of Prussian real-estate developments
during the past three years there's a Hindenberg Street or a Hindenberg
Avenue, to say nothing of the babies which has been born over there and
named Max Hindenberg Goldsticker or Max Hindenberg Schwartz."

"Sure I know," Morris said, "and you can take my word for it, Abe, along
about nineteen hundred and thirty-five there's going to be a whole lot
of lawyers over in Deutschland making from twenty-five to fifty marks a
throw for putting through motions in the Court of Common Pleas for the
City and County of Berlin that the name of the said applicant, Max H.
Goldsticker or Max H. Schwartz, as the case may or may not be, be and
the same hereby is changed to Frank Pershing Goldsticker or Woodrow W.
Schwartz. Also, Abe, if ever they open up Charlottenberg Heights
overlooking beautiful Lake Hundekehlen as per plat filed in the office
of the register of Brandenburg County, y'understand, there'll be a
Helfferich Place, a Liebknecht Avenue, and even a Bebel Terrace maybe,
but in twenty years from now a German real-estater wouldn't be able even
to give away lots free for nothing on any Hindenberg Street or
Hindenberg Avenue, not if he was to throw in a two-family house with
portable garage complete."

"Well, you could say the same thing about this country, too," Abe
decla