to
hold, with a sudden joy, which expanded the pain, and made that greater
too.

"Oh, what does it matter about me? Mr. May, think what I am saying.
Don't leave him for a moment. He might throw himself out of the window,
he might do some harm to himself. Ah! again!" said Phoebe, trembling.

But this time it was only a convulsive start, nothing more. The patient
dropped down again softly upon his pillows, and relapsed into his doze,
if doze it could be called, in which his faculties were but
half-dormant, and his open eyes contradicted all the appearances of
natural sleep.

When she was relieved from the sick room--and now she had a double
motive in getting away--Phoebe stole softly into the faded little place
where Ursula lay, still fast asleep, though fully dressed, and bathed
her face and strained eyes. "I wonder if my hair is grey underneath,"
she said to herself. "I wonder nothing has happened to me." But a great
deal had happened to her. Such a night is rarely encountered by so young
a creature, or such an alarming charge undertaken. And sudden hot kisses
upon little, cold, agitated hands, worn by fatigue to nervous perception
of every touch, are very exciting and strange to a girl. They had given
her a kind of electric shock. She was not in love with Reginald, and
therefore she felt it all the more, and her heart was still throbbing
with the suddenness and excitement of the incident. And after she had
made an effort to get over this, there remained upon her mind the
disturbing burden of a knowledge which no one shared, and a
responsibility which was very heavy and terrible, and too tremendous for
her slight shoulders. After she had made that hasty toilette, she sat
down for a moment at the foot of the bed on which Ursula lay sleeping,
unconscious of all those mysteries, and tried to think. It is not an
easy process at any time, but after a long night's watching, terror, and
agitation, it seemed more impossible to Phoebe than it had ever done
before. And she had so much occasion for thought, so much need of the
power of judging clearly. What was she to do?--not to-morrow, or next
week, but now. She had taken the responsibility of the whole upon
herself by the sudden step she had taken last night; but, bold as she
had been, Phoebe was ignorant. She did not know whether her theft of the
bill would really stop the whole proceedings, as had seemed so certain
last night; and what if she was found out, and compelled