-formed by a junction of two cuffs, a collar and one
button--one necktie, one pair of trousers and one coat. Each
contestant was required satisfactorily to wash and dry both hands and
put into his hair a recognizable part.

The contestants were allowed to arrange on the chair their wearing
apparel according to their own theories, were permitted to fill the
wash basin with water, leaving the comb and towel on either side. In
order to prevent the formation of two classes, pajamas were suppressed
and each contestant, clothed in a nightshirt, was inducted under the
covers and his hair carefully disarranged.

Time was taken from the starting gun to the moment of the arrival of
the fully clothed, reasonably washed and apparently brushed candidate
at the door. Each time was to be noted and the two lowest scores were
to compete in the finals. A time limit of forty-five seconds was
imposed, after which the contestant was to be ruled out.

The first heat began with the Triumphant Egghead in the bed for the
Dickinson, Mr. Dennis de Brian de Boru Finnegan on the stop watch, Mr.
Dink Stover as master of ceremonies and Mr. Turkey Reiter, Mr.
Cheyenne Baxter and Mr. Charlie DeSoto as jurors.

The entries were admitted by all to be the pick of the school; while
the champions most favored, were the Tennessee Shad for the Kennedy,
Doc Macnooder for the Dickinson and the White Mountain Canary for the
Woodhull.

A certain delay took place on the third heat owing to Susie Satterly,
of the Davis House, refusing to compete unless there was less
publicity, and being peremptorily ruled out on a demand for a screen.

"The next on the program," said Stover, as master of ceremonies, "is
the champion of the Dickinson, the celebrated old-clothes man, Doctor
Macnooder."

Macnooder gracefully acknowledged the applause which invariably
attended his public performances and asked leave to make a speech,
which was unanimously rejected.

"Very well, gentlemen," said Macnooder, taking off his coat and
standing forth in a sudden blaze of rainbow underwear. "I will simply
draw attention to this neat little bit of color that I have the honor
to present to your inspection. It is the latest thing out in dainty
fancies and I stand ready to fill all orders. It is rather springy,
but why fall when you can spring? Don't applaud--you'll wake the
baby. It is light, it is warm, it gives a sense of exhilaration to
the skin. It endears you to your friends, and