unch Institute. The purpose
is fraternal, patriotic and convivial. It will be most exclusive and
very secret." He explained the working scheme and then added
anxiously: "Now, Beekstein, you see the position of First Grand Hot
Tamale will be the real thing. He will be, so to speak, Valedictorian
of the Kennedy and certainly ought to be elected secretary of the
house next year. Now, Beekstein, what we got you here for is this.
What do you think of Gumbo for the position? Well, what?"

Beekstein, in his agitation, withdrew his finger from the Orations of
Cicero.

"What's the matter with me?" he said directly. "Gumbo is only a
second-rater."

"He's very strong in mathematics."

"That's the only thing he beats me on!"

"Yes, but, Beekstein, there is another thing--a delicate subject. I
don't know how to approach it. You see, we don't know how you're fixed
for the spondulix," said the Tennessee Shad, who knew perfectly well
the other's flourishing condition. "You see, this is not only
educational, but a very select body, quite a secret society,--with a
midnight spread now and then. Of course there are dues, you see. It
would cost you a half a week."

"Is that all?" said Beekstein, who had never belonged to a secret
society in his life. "Here's the first month down. Right here."

"I don't know how far we are committed to Gumbo," said the Tennessee
Shad, not disdaining to finger the two-dollar bill. "But I'll do
everything I can for you."

Gumbo Binks, being consulted as to the qualifications of Beekstein,
fell into the same trap. He was a monosyllabic, oldish little fellow,
whose cheeks had fallen down and disturbed the balance of his already
bald head. He had but one emotion and one enthusiasm, a professional
jealousy of Beekstein, who was several points ahead of him in the race
for first honors. Under these conditions the Tennessee Shad proceeded
victoriously. Having made sure of each, he next informed them that,
owing to a wide divergence of opinion, a choice seemed impossible.
Each should have two months' opportunity to lecture before the Quick
Lunchers before a vote would be taken.

Under these successful auspices the Institute met enthusiastically the
following day, both the lecturers and the lectured ignoring the
financial status of the others. It was found on careful compilation
that, by close and respectful attention to Professors Beekstein and
Gumbo, twenty minutes would suffice for the rendering of the G