bject
humiliation. Even at dawn, when he stood surrounded by his
praetorian guard, as secure from danger as human agency could
make him, a gleam of hatred shone in his eyes whenever he looked
on me. He never would give thee to me, dear heart, and would vent
his wrath also upon thy dear head. 'Tis better that he too should
think me dead, for dead will I be to Rome and to the people among
whom my name might yet give cause for strife and for discontent.

"The Caesar is safe, and I can go my ways in peace. He hath no
longer need of me but my Lord hath called and I His servant must
take up my cross and follow Him. The priceless gifts which thy
pure hands did hold out to me are registered in His book of
Heaven, and He never forgets. As for me I were less or more than
a man were I to ask thee to forget. I would have thee remember,
yet would I think of thee as happy and radiant as the stars
wherewith He hath gladdened the darkness of our nights. But think
not of me as unhappy. My Lord has called, and I the servant am
bound to follow. He laid a burden on me and this burden must I
bear even though I may bear with it all the pain that is greater
than the pain of the earth, greater than the ceaseless travail of
the sea, even though I may bear with it that bitterest of all
bitter fruits the labour that is nothing worth. That I know not!
Who knoweth, oh God? Truly not I. There was grief in the world,
dear heart, even before the stars were made or the sky stretched
its blue dome above; and as hour follows hour, day succeeds day
and the cycles of years come and go, even so do fresh griefs and
greener sorrows spring around us; like each recurrent season they
too come and go. Only one thing abideth, dear heart, and that is
the will of God, who made happiness and woe, love and pain, sleep
and death. And 'tis the will of God that I should lose thee and
yet continue to live, even though life to me henceforth will be
one long dream of death.

"Idol of my soul, beloved of my heart, farewell. I go to find
comfort from that bitter word on the summit of Golgotha, at the
foot of an abandoned, broken Cross. When my soul hath found peace
then will it be ready for the service of God.

"Farewell, my beloved! May God have thee in His keeping, even as
thy soul hath al