hinking of returning to
Richmond to inquire whether I had been exchanged and was still hoping
for the independence of the Southern Confederacy, I attended religious
services at a church in the neighborhood. When these had been concluded
and the congregation were talking as usual in the yard a messenger
arrived with a newspaper, which the Yankees had sent ashore from one of
their gunboats, and which contained the details of General Lee's
surrender of his army five days previously at Appomattox. My heart sank
within me. My fondest hopes were crushed. The cause for which I had so
often exposed my life, and for which so many of my friends had died, had
sunk into the gloomy night of defeat.

I was thankful that out of the horrid conflict I had escaped with my
life, a gray coat, and a silver quarter of a dollar. Although I had
participated in all the battles that were fought by the Army of Northern
Virginia, I was never seriously hurt. At Manassas one bullet struck my
leg, and another forcibly wrenched my sword from my hand. At
Chancellorsville a bomb exploded just in front of me, making a hole in
the ground and covering me with dirt, the pieces flying away with
discordant noises. Countless balls whizzed by my ears, and men fell all
around me, some of them while touching my side. Am I not justified in
appropriating the words of David addressed to Jehovah, "Thou hast
covered my head in the day of battle?"

Withdrawal from the Union was the right of the Southern States, as
appears from the history of the making and adoption of the federal
constitution; and great was the provocation to use it. It is not,
however, always wise,--either for persons or communities,--to exercise
their rights. Secession in the year 1860 was a hot headed and stupendous
political blunder,--a blunder recognized by the majority of the people
of Virginia, who refused to follow the example of her southern sisters
until there was forced upon her the cruel alternative of waging war
either against them or against the States of the North.

Though secession was a grievous error, nevertheless the war that was
waged by the Federal Government was a crime against the constitution,
humanity, and God. But now, as we view the present and retrospect the
past, who may say that all has not turned out for the best? We find
consolation in the belief that the Lord's hand has shaped our destiny,
and we meekly submit to his overruling providence.

"If it were done,