_. Or one may consult textbooks and published papers. (This, by the
way, is known as _library research_, and is generally conceded to be
indicative of the superior student, especially if he points out the fact
that he is _so interested_ that he just had to delve into the
literature.) By any technique, _the expected results are always
obtained_. _Always. And by everyone._ The initial confusions--that some
_honest_ students perpetuate--are easily brushed aside as errors due to
inexperience, sloppiness, lack of initiative, stupidity of congenital
sort, et cetera, et cetera.

Since being a teaching fellow, even simple cook-book experiments don't
seem as cook-bookish. Some pretty weird things have happened when I
tried out an exercise prior to the class. Fortunately, I was taught to
keep data--in duplicate: indelible purple Hexostick original and carbon
copy. These, _vide infra_, are a few of such happenings.

Elementary General Physiology Laboratory:

1. Initial maximal vagal stimulation:

_Expected results_: inhibition of heart beat.

_Obtained results_: one series of increased heart beats.
(Possible explanation: I missed the vagus nerve)????

2. _Frog nerve-muscle preparation_:

_Expected results_: a single muscle twitch.

_Obtained results_: a beautiful nerve twitch.

(Explanation: Eyesight? How can _nerves_ twitch?)??

3. _Hypotonic hemolysis_:

_Expected results_: red blood cell destruction.

_Obtained results_: crenation.

(Explanation: switched salt solutions _unconsciously_)?????

4. _Curarized muscle preparation_:

_Expected results_: a synaptic block with no response of nerve
when stimulated.

_Observed results_: a typical strychnine response, violent
_tetanus_, et cetera.

(Explanation: again, I switched bottles)????

5. I shall avoid the obvious mention of mishaps with mechanical or
electrical pieces of equipment. I assure you there were similar
deviations in initial attempts.

Since I realize that you are preparing a paper on _Memory Registers:
Stimulation Criteria_, for the VIth Annual International Meeting of the
Society of Theoretical Biomathematicians in London, and are short of
time, I shall avoid going into the same kind of detail as the above for
other Biology Labs, and get into the real heart of the thing ... the
research pro