ir grand airs. Much I mind them! Why, the old
sinner was not an hour in the town when he was asked over the way to
Belmont, and Miss dressed out there like a puppet, to simper and flatter
the rich old land agent, and butter him up--my Lord Castlemallard's
bailiff--if you please, ha, ha, ha! and the Duchess of Belmont, that
ballyrags every one round her, like a tipsy old soldier, as civil as
six, my dear Sir, with her "Oh, Mr. Dangerfield, this," and her "Dear
Mr. Dangerfield, that," and all to marry that long, sly hussy to a
creature old enough to be her grandfather, though she's no chicken
neither. Faugh! filthy!' and Miss Magnolia went through an elegant
pantomime of spitting over her shoulder into the grate.

Toole thought there was but one old fellow of his acquaintance who might
be creditably married by a girl young enough to be his granddaughter,
and that was honest Arthur Slowe; and he was going to insinuate a joke
of the sort; but perceiving that his sly preparatory glance was not
pleasantly responded to, and that the stalworth nymph was quite in
earnest, he went off to another topic.

The fact is that Toole knew something of Miss Mag's plans, as he did of
most of the neighbours' beside. Old Slowe was, in certain preponderating
respects, much to be preferred to the stalworth fireworker, Mr.
Lieutenant O'Flaherty. And the two gentlemen were upon her list. Two
strings to a bow is a time-honoured provision. Cupid often goes so
furnished. If the first snap at the critical moment, should we
bow-string our precious throttles with the pieces? Far be it from us!
Let us waste no time in looking foolish; but pick up the gray-goose
shaft that lies so innocently at our feet among the daisies; and it's
odds but the second plants it i' the clout.' The lover, the hero of the
piece, upon whose requited passion and splendid settlements the curtain
goes down, is a _role_ not always safely to be confided to the genius
and discretion of a single performer. Take it that the captivating
Frederick Belville, who is announced for the part, is, along with his
other qualifications, his gallantry, his grace, his ringlets, his
pathetic smile, his lustrous eyes, his plaintive tenor, and
five-and-twenty years--a little bit of a rip--rather frail in the
particular of brandy and water, and so, not quite reliable. Will not the
prudent manager provide a substitute respectably to fill the part, in
the sad event of one of those sudden indispositio