bones. In these modern days you are a kind-hearted little woman who,
to pursue an ancient metaphor, sheds the world rosewise in little
kisses; but if you did not so shed it, the world would shed itself in
tears. Your smiles and laughter are the last lights that play around
the white hairs of an aged duke; your winsome tendernesses are the
dreams of a young man who writes "pars" about you on Friday, and
dines with you on Sunday; you are an ideal in many lives which
without you would certainly be ideal-less.' Deuced good that; I
wish I had a pencil to make a note; but I shall remember it. Then
will come my historical paragraph. I shall show that it is only
by confounding courtesans with queens, and love with ambition,
that any sort of case can be made out against the former. Third
paragraph--'Courtesans are a factor in the great problem of the
circulation of wealth, etc.' It will be said that the money thus
spent is unproductive.... So much the better! For if it were given to
the poor it would merely enable them to bring more children into the
world, thereby increasing immensely the general misery of the race.
Schopenhauer will not be left out in the cold after all. Quote
Lecky,--'The courtesan is the guardian angel of our hearths and
homes, the protector of our wives and sisters.'"

"Will you have a bath this morning, sir?" cried the laundress,
through the door.

"Yes, and get me a chop for breakfast."

"I shall tell her (the courtesan, not the laundress) how she may
organize the various forces latent in her and culminate in a power
which shall contain in essence the united responsibilities of church,
music-hall, and picture gallery." Mike turned over on his back and
roared with laughter. "Frank will be delighted. It will make the
fortune of the paper. Then I shall attack my subject in detail.
Dress, house, education, friends, female and male. Then the
money question. She must make a provision for the future.
Charming chapter there is to be written on the old age of the
courtesan--charities--ostentatious charities--charitable bazaars,
reception into the Roman Catholic faith."

"Shall I bring in your hot water, sir?" screamed the laundress.

"Yes, yes.... Shall my courtesan go on the stage? No, she shall be a
pure courtesan, she shall remain unsullied of any labour. She might
appear once on the boards;--no, no, she must remain a pure courtesan.
Charming subject! It will make a book. Charming opportunity for wit,