eying as it was mixed up by the
skilful feeder into the form and consistency that his Majesty loved, and
put, as a nurse would put pap, into his Majesty's mouth, which was then
carefully wiped by another man, who, I presume, is called the "wiper,"
and who was succeeded in his turn of duty by the hookah-bearer, who
gently inserted the mouthpiece between the royal lips, in order that his
Majesty might fill up, by a puff of the fragrant weed, the time required
for the preparation of another spoonful. This routine of feeding,
wiping, and smoking was only varied when the King slowly licked his lips,
which he did in a dignified manner, and with a reproachful look at the
wiper, whereat the wiper might be observed to tremble: poor wiper! I dare
say that, if his Majesty finds it necessary to lick his lips thrice in
one meal, it is equivalent to signing poor wiper's death-warrant. But
his Majesty was not the only person that licked his lips; I found myself
repeatedly doing the same, but it was with the feelings of a hungry hound
as he envies a more fortunate member of the pack the possession of a
juicy bone. Though the royal table groaned with viands, and though I was
famishing, there was nothing but sponge-cake that any but a madly
imprudent person could have ventured on. The cold cutlets, fried in
rancid lard, rise up before me now, an unpleasant vision of the past; and
I distinctly remember the mingled disgust and horror which I felt while
breaking the crust of yellowish tallow to help a gallant young officer
near me, who must have endured the privations of a Sutlej campaign to
enable him to eat it.

At last we discovered some drinkable champagne, and drank her Majesty's
health with all the honours; after which we paid a similar compliment to
his Majesty of Oudh, while all the grandees of the realm--who, sitting on
chairs like ourselves, lined one side of the long range of tables, and
seemed enveloped in a blaze of glistening jewels--looked as if they
thought it all a very disrespectful proceeding.

There was a very loud band that played "God save the Queen," and two or
three very discordant singing women, who sang what I suppose was an Ode
upon Sauce, as being the Oudh national anthem. At length dinner was
over, and immediately there was a rush to the windows to see the
fireworks, which seemed to be all let off at once, so that it was
impossible to distinguish anything but a universal twisting and whirling,
and fizzing