; he followed but the example of others.
So great was the outcry raised by those who had hoped to have secured me
as a good match, that any young man of fashion who was seen with me, had,
by many, his name erased from their visiting lists. This decided my fate,
and I was alone. For some time I bore up proudly; I returned a glance
of defiance, but this could not last. The treatment of others received
a slight check from the kindness of Lord Windermear, who repeatedly asked
me to his table; but I perceived that even there, although suffered as a
proteg of his lordship, anything more than common civility was studiously
avoided, in order that no intimacy might result. Mr Masterton, upon whom
I occasionally called, saw that I was unwell and unhappy. He encouraged
me; but, alas! a man must be more than mortal, who, with fine feelings,
can endure the scorn of the world. Timothy, poor fellow, who witnessed
more of my unhappy state of mind than anybody else, offered in vain his
consolation. "And this," thought I, "is the reward of virtue and honesty.
Truly, virtue is its own reward, for it obtains no other. As long as I
was under false colours, allowing the world to deceive themselves, I was
courted and flattered. Now that I have thrown off the mask, and put on
the raiment of truth, I am a despised, miserable being. Yes; but is not
this my own fault? Did I not, by my own deception, bring all this upon
myself? Whether unmasked by others, or by myself, is it not equally true
that I have been playing false, and am now punished for it? What do the
world care for your having returned to truth? You have offended by
deceiving them, and that is an offence which your repentance will not
extenuate." It was but too true, I had brought it all on myself, and
this reflection increased my misery. For my dishonesty, I had been justly
and severely punished: whether I was ever to be rewarded for my
subsequent honesty still remained to be proved; but I knew very well
that most people would have written off such a reward as a bad debt.

Once I consulted with Mr Masterton as to the chance of there being any
information relative to my birth in the packet left in the charge of Mr
Cophagus. "I have been thinking over it, my dear Newland," said he, "and
I wish I could give you any hopes, but I cannot. Having succeeded with
regard to your little protege, you are now so sanguine with respect to
yourself, that a trifle light as air is magnified, as the poet