et down ter vittles, if it wuz my week
ter cook, Peep w'd begin ter talk o' ther fine cookin' his wife uster do
before she run erway with er Sant' Fe conductor down ter Raton, Noo Mex.
He'd tell me how she'd make beef stoo an' hot biscuit thet would melt in
yer mouth. 'I don't like them kind,' sez I, one day. 'I like somethin' I
kin chew on. What'd ther Lord give us teeth fer if grub is ter melt in
ther mouth? No, sir; give me mine gristle an' hide. Ther tougher they be
ther better I like 'em,' sez I.

"'Is thet thar meant ez a reflection on my wife?' sez Peep, bristlin'
up.

"'I never met yer wife,' sez I, 'an' we'll let thet part o' it pass, fer
ye knows me well enough thet I never make no remarks erbout wimminfolks
what ain't smooth an' complimentary. But I stands on ther
gristle-an'-hide propersition ontil I'm ready ter fight fer it.'

"Yer see, I wuz gettin' some peevish erbout Peep. Ole man Bradish hed
left us alone tergether too long. It ain't right fer two fellers ter
camp side by each fer so long without a third party buttin' in ter break
ther monotony.

"'All right,' sez he, unlimberin' his six foot three o' len'th from ther
ground. 'Thet,' sez he, real dignified, 'is either a challenge or a
invitation ter fight.'

"'It be,' sez I. 'Either way yer wanter take it.'

"We both riz up.

"'How d'yer want it?' sez he.

"'Please yerself,' sez I. 'Any ole holt is my fav'rite.'

"'Anythin' goes, then,' sez he, makin' a rush at me.

"Jest then we hear a turrible noise, gruntin', squealin', an' sich. We
both stopped an' looked eround, an' thar stood watchin' us a big band o'
wild hawgs.

"'Fresh meat!' we both hollers simultaneous. At this ther hawgs ups an'
runs.

"It wuz my day off, an' hostilities stopped right thar ez I runs an'
gits my rifle an' leaps my cayuse an' takes after ther hawgs, Peep
hollerin' after me ez friendly ez yer please.

"I chased them hawgs a couple o' miles ter ther river bank, whar they
hid in ther canebrake. I couldn't get ther cayuse ter go in after them,
so I gits down an' breaks my way in tryin' ter git a shot at one o'
them, my mouth waterin' fer fresh pork so's I wuz almost wadin' in it.

"Purty soon I come in sight o' them. A ole boar wuz in charge o' them,
an' he wuz a hard-lookin' citizen, I want ter tell yer. He hed tushes
five inches long an' both o' 'em ez sharp ez razors. I took a shot at
him, but his hide wuz so tough thet ther ball just glanced off him, an'
he